Bowman-Clarkson Connection

Welcome Dean!!

2010-08-05T00:00:00.002-04:00

Another tadpole is in the pond. Yes that's right my sister had her third child today. A healthy and happy baby boy. Dean a 9lb 10oz, red headed child. Wow!! Way to go Nym!! Now my sister has a brunette, blond and now a red head. One of each. From what I've been told, Dean has my sisters chin and cheeks and has his daddy's eyes and forehead. Welcome little Dean. Your Aunt Froggy will see you soon. Love you very much!!

Happy Birthday

2010-07-11T02:16:00.003-04:00

Happy Birthday To You! Happy Birthday To You! Happy Birthday, Poppy!! Happy Birthday To You!! I love you!

Lately

2010-07-09T02:40:00.003-04:00

Below is the definition from Wikipedia-

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a personality disorder described as a prolonged disturbance of personality function in a person (generally over the age of eighteen years, although it is also found in adolescents), characterized by depth and variability of moods.^[1] The disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood; black and white thinking, or splitting; chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual's sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation.^[2]

I always knew something was off. I just thought it was one of my "quirks". Crying all the time. Yelling all the time. Only seeing this as good or bad. The list goes on and on and on. When my father passed away I became very depressed. I've been used to being 'down' but never to the point where I wanted to runaway or 'leave'. I didn't want to be here anymore. Not in my house. Not with my family or friends. I didn't want to be me. My bottom was when I had to go into the hospital for suicidal thoughts . I do have to tell you that I didn't cut myself, take drugs or anything like that. It was a preventive measure. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't want to live anymore. Chris was starting to get worried and told me to call my councilor. Whom I've only been seeing for about a month or so. She wanted to talk to Chris. The next thing I know, I'm in the car on my way to NetCare. NetCare in Columbus is a facility where you can go if you're not feeling like yourself. It's for people who need help. It's a wonderful resource. When I got there I was shaking and couldn't stop crying. They took me in the back I was so scared. I didn't know what was happening. I was surrounded my people who were talking to themselves. Drug addicts. You name the aliment, they were there. I was only there for a few short hours when they told me that OSU had a bed for me. I said my good-byes to my husband. Then was transported to the hospital. It was September 17, 2009. I spent 3 whole days at OSU. They listened to me and let me tell them my story. What could come out of my mouth. I was so hysterical. I'm surprised that the doctors could understand me. Let alone diagnose me. I told them briefly about my childhood. My adolescents, and young adulthood. I don't even remember what I actually told them. I had to go to group therapy, individual therapy and classes. It was the longest 3 days of my life. When the Psychiatrist called me into the office I was scared to death that they were going to make me stay even longer then the 3 day hold. Then he said those wonderful words, "You're going home today' and handed me my papers. As I was waiting for Chris to pick me up I read what it said. Borderline Personality Disorder. I was in shock. Total shock. I heard about this in health class when I was in school. It's not curable. You most likely have to be on medication for the rest of your life. In and out of the hospitals. All the horrible things you don't to hear. I was terrified. Was I crazy? Will I always be like this? Will life always be this hard? Hundreds of questions and thoughts were racing through my head. What will I tell my kids. Husband? Friends? FAMILY?! What was I going to do? What would I say? How would they respond? When I came home I sat Chris down and told him everything. What BPD was and all that goes with it. In the back of my mind I thought for sure he would pack up the kids and leave. I would of understood too. But he didn't. He cried with me. He held me and told me that no matter what he was going to be there for me. I have to tell you, I was relieved. So now the hard part was about to begin. I upped my therapy sessions to twice a week and started taking classes on how to cope with BPD. Marsha Linehan wrote a manual to help people with BPD learn skills to manage the disorder and get on with their lives. I started in November/December of 2009 and just finished my first run through. You only have to take it once, but they encourage you to go through it twice. Which I am. When I started all of this I was in the middle of a bad spell. My down cycle still wasn't dissipating. I was in and out of the doctor for med checks and blood draws. By February I was still really bad. My weight was down to 100 lbs. I couldn't eat. Or should I say didn't want to eat. I was always grumpy. Didn't go out. Didn't hang out with friends or anything. I only came out of my house to go to therapy and class. I didn't cook. Clean. NOTHING!! I noticed my family falling apart in front of my eyes. The kids grades were slipping. I wasn't getting along with anyone in the house. Everyone was fighting. It really sucked. By March I talked to my personal doctor and told her everything that was going on. We decided that I was on too many medications. They were hurting more than helping now. So off I went. This was a big plunge I was about to partake in. The one thing on my mind was my family. I needed to get my act together. And fast. In April I decided that I was going to California. The plan was to go for a couple of months. Leave in April and come back in June. As the time got closer to my departure date I stared to get scared. Was I running away?? Was everything for not?? So I talked everything over with my councilor and Chris. My feelings, thoughts and concerns. When all was said and done, I only went to California for a week. To see family and soak in the sun. Take a break from reality. A vacation from myself. When I was out there I read, relaxed and missed my kids and husband. I needed them. I really did. It took me so long to figure it out. But at least I did. I came back renewed, rejuvenated and relaxed. A new me was in the works and I liked her. Chris and the kids could see a major difference. I was smiling. Happy. Genuinely happy. I went to see my councilor and she could see a difference as well. Not only has she helped, but the classes are fabulous. I was using the skills I was (and still) learning. The biggest thing was just to accept things as the they are. My therapy sessions are down to once a week and maybe even going to twice a month. This is a big thing!! I'm very proud of myself and all that I have accomplished in a year. I came in broken and hurt. Now I'm healing and happy. I still have my bad days. I still think of my dad and cry. But this is all good. What I've learned is that if you don't have bad days once in a while, well you're most likely a cyborg. I've just learned how to cope with my anger and sadness. I've learned how to talk out my issues instead of holding them in and exploding. It still a battle. It will always be a battle. There is no cure for BPD. There's only you. You are the only one who can make things right. You HAVE to want it. To grave it. To be it. It's all about recovery. If I can do it, anyone can. If you or someone you love is suffering from BPD there is hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can make it through. I've seen it. I'm doing it.

My Wonderfully Crazy Katey

2010-06-09T02:36:00.003-04:00

This beautiful young lady is my step-daughter Katelynn (Katey for short). Let me tell you a little about my sweet Katey-Bear. Katey was diagnosed with ADD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) when she was very young. This means that when you tell her to jump she will sit If you tell her to go take a shower, she'd rather stink. And add the ADD on top of that, good luck teachers. I believe that she doesn't know what she's really doing, nor does she want to do them. Katey has had it rough. When she came to live with us a little over a year ago, Chris and I thought that it would help her and her relationship with her mother. However, it's gotten worse. So when the last nerve was gone (about a month ago) I decided to change some things around. Before I would scream and shout to get Katey to do anything. Now I talk to her like she doesn't know better. And in all reality she doesn't. She was never taught to talk out her problems. She bottles them up and then when she releases her "mood" watch out. She never really had to do chores. She never had nor was taught how to clean her room, I mean really clean it. Her mother did everything for her. Now I understand not handing out chores at a young age, but damn. Katey was 12 when she moved in. So, now it's up to me and Chris to step in. I've stop yelling and starting talking. You know when you have a toddler and they did something that was wrong?! What do you do? I don't ever recall yelling at my children. I talked to them. Told them to use there words or sign what's wrong. I'm taking this technique and applying it to a 13 year old. And it seems to be working. Tonight Katey kept getting out of bed after I already tucked her in for the night. I at first, got really pissed off. This would be the 10th time I put her to bed. In the mist of the arguing I stopped and asked Katey what happened today that would make her so mad and upset. She proceeded to tell me about her day. Come to find out some of her friends were being cruel to her. We talked it out. You could see on her face how much she loved that. How much she needed it. I made jokes and made her laugh. Which we all know, cures all. When we were about done with the conversation I asked her what her dad told to to say (in her head) before she does something stupid. Her response was, "What would my Dad say or do to me if I do....." I then told her I didn't want her to think that anymore. She gave me the most quizzeled look. I told her that I wanted her to think..."Is Jette going to kick my ass if I do...." Katey's father works A LOT and her mother isn't around as much as she should be. So all that's left is me. :) And now she knows it. I love my husband, but he just doesn't have it in him to discipline. It's now up to me. Lacey's good. Emma knows better. Alex has is moments. And now Katelynn knows. I also found out that she was bragging to her friends that her and I were getting along. Her friends (whom know me very well) fell over with amazement. This tells me that I'm doing something good here. Don't get me wrong, Chris has tried very hard to get to Katey. I just think she needed a mother. And a mother I am. And I'm good at it. I know that when Katelynn is grown and on her own, she'll know what I did for her and how much I love her. She's my daughter and that will never change.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T15:01:00.006-04:00

I wanted to tell all the mothers out there Happy Mother's Day!! Especially my wonderful Mom. She has done more for me then she could ever imagine. She has taught me right and wrong. Good and evil. But most of all she has taught me to Love. No matter what I've done in the past (or plan to do in the future) she has my back. And I have hers. My mother is more than a Mom, she's my best-friend. I can tell her anything. And I do mean ANYTHING! If it wasn't for my wonderful Mother I have no idea where or who I'd be right now. She once told me that I should find someone who I respect, trust, love and honor to be like. Or somewhat like. I choose my Mommy. She's beautiful, caring, loving, and non-judgmental. She's everything I want to be when I decide to grow up. I love you Mommy!! Happy Mother's Day.

Poppy Tattoo

2010-05-05T15:33:00.003-04:00

My husband know how much I wanted my Poppy tattoo. So on the one year anniversary of my fathers passing I got my tattoo. I put it on my left leg. You know when you walk on the street and your mom or dad walk on the outside so you don't get hurt?! Well this is a way for my Poppy to protect me. I love you Poppy. You're always in my heart.

One Year

2010-05-04T01:54:00.003-04:00

It has been the most interesting year of my life. So much has happened. Some bad some good. Either way it happened. And most of it is for the better. I've lost my father one year ago today. One year. It's still hard to believe. It was only recently that I became okay with the fact that my dad was no longer around. I know that he's in a better place. He's happy, healthy and watching over us everyday. With this I'm grateful. He's always with me. By my side with every step. He's in my heart. Forever. I love you Poppy.

GET READY FOR THIS!!!

2010-04-27T21:52:00.004-04:00

I'M 130 LBS!! I couldn't believe it myself. I went to the doc's. Got on the scale. Closed my eyes. Then she said the words....Wanna see? So I opened my tight eyes and saw the scale. I'm so happy. My doctor is happy. My kids and wonderful hubby are elated. Now all I have to do is keep it there. I'm on the right track. And it feel great!!!

Money and Children

2010-04-25T22:28:00.003-04:00

Chris was handing out money for the kids this week and when he handed Emma her five dollars her response was priceless.

Chris-Emma, here's some money for you this week.

Emma-Thanks Daddy. OHHH I only need a two or three dollars. I'll bring you the change tomorrow.

Chris-Honey this is yours. All of it. We don't need change.

Emma-Okay. Cool. Thanks guys!!

With big hugs and huge smiles we said our good nights and she went to bed thinking of all the wonderful things she could get with her five dollars. As I sat down at the computer I looked at Chris and just smiled. My baby is aware of money. She knows that she doesn't' have to spend it all the minute she gets it. She knows how to save. It's so wonderful.

Head Held High

2010-04-21T23:40:00.003-04:00

I've noticed that since I've been home I'm not putting up with anyone's shit. The kids are GOING to listen to me, even if it's the last thing I do. My house will be in order. Laundry will be caught up. And so on. I've also noticed that I hold my head up higher. My shoulders are back and relaxed (as well as I can lol). I also feel my old confidence coming back. It's amazing what time away can do for your heart, head and soul. I'm even loving my body. I have a doctor appointment next week and I'm acually looking forward to it! I want to sit in the Doc's office and proudly say, "I'm taking my meds. AND I'm eating!!". I'm ready to get on the scale...not to ready, but ready none the less. I'm proud of myself. I'm going to my DPT classes everyweek, doing the homework and seeing my counciler only once a week now. I'm so pleased! I'm prolly not supposed to brag or anything, but it's been a very long time I've felt like this. I've put my foot down and people are noticing. IT'S GREAT!!

California Part 2

2010-04-19T18:45:00.005-04:00

Enjoying the flowers!! I love you! Outdoor my mother's patio. Beautiful!! Oceanside Beach. Lovin' the sun.

Before and After

2010-04-18T02:11:00.004-04:00

I was going through my friend Mariah's wedding pictures and found one that really shocked me. It was taken in October 2009. I'm posting that picture. I'm also posting a picture that was taken only a couple of weeks ago. It was truly eye opening for me. I cried. I'm still crying. I had no idea. Sometimes seeing IS believing.

California--Part One

2010-04-17T20:13:00.005-04:00

Here are some of what I did in California. I'm waiting on my other pictures to come in. Doing it the old way. One time camera. I can't wait to see them. Until then here is a little of what I had the plessure of doing.

California Dreaming

2010-04-09T03:04:00.002-04:00

I have been here for about a week and loving every minute of it. Let me start off by saying thank you to my wonderful family here. They are really shown me a great time. I have loved hanging out with my mother, sister and her beautiful children. They have taken me pretty much where ever I wanted to go. We went to Old Town Temecula (hope I spelled that right lol) and had some of the best Root Beer on the planet. They actually have a store with nothing but root beer. It's great. I was totally channeling my brother Eli when I was there. He loves that place and now I see why. I went whale watching, which was amazing. There were two Minke Whales that was playing with the boat. My niece and I were watching them go under the water and come up on the other side of the boat. It was like they were there for only us. It's was breathtaking to say the least. I have a whole new love for the water now. And no, it does not mean I'm going swimming any time soon. lol Then on Thursday I got to go to my favorite part of Southern California.....The desert! Palm Desert to be exact. My mother took me to Joshua Tree and I was blown away. I sat on a hill and looked out over the vast lands. It brought me to tears. Happy tears! When I was done meditating I looked to my right and saw the most beautiful thing ever. A rock formation that looked like a Father holding his little girl. I could see the child's eyes, mouth and even her hair up in a ponytail. I immediately thought of my own Father and was brought to tears again. Not the sad tears that I normally shed in this kinds of situation, but tears of love and happiness. It felt like I was that little girl and my own father was holding me. I felt my father at the moment and it was amazing. He was there with me. He had his arms around me telling me that everything was going to be okay. That I was going to be just fine. He's happy now. Happy and healthy. Like he should be. And that was very very comforting to me. Who knows what the next week will bring, but I'm sure it's going to be amazing.

Watch Out California...Here I Come!!

2010-04-02T22:07:00.003-04:00

Okay. I'm going to California for 2 weeks and I'm totally excited. I get to see my family. Go to Disneyland. Go to Joshua Tree. Pretty much I'm going to enjoy my little vacation. I was originally I was going to go out there for about 2 months, but I made commitments here and need to stick to them. I'm just really stoked about this trip. I don't know exactly why?! But I'm really happy about this. I need this. I really really need this. I need to be with my mommy. My sister. My tadpoles. MY FAMILY! I need them. I've had a very rough year (2009 sucked hairy donkey balls) and deserve this. Everyone deserves a vacation. I will post pics as soon as they arrive. I'm sure my wonderful Sister and beautiful Mother will help with that. I'm so blessed to have them in my life. I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY FAMILY!! Okay. I'm rambling on now. Next time I write...........I WILL BE IN CALIFORNIA!! YEAH!!!!

Steel Magnolias

2010-03-28T00:36:00.003-04:00

I'm sitting here flipping through channels and stopped on the Oxygen channel and started watching Steel Magnolias. It was only about 15 minutes into it so I knew I didn't miss a lot. Man, I haven't' seen this movie in years. I've almost forgotten how good it really is. A mother/daughter/friend relationships...come on. It's fabulous. Now, I'm just waiting for that one scene..for that real good cry. I'm actually looking forward to it. Does that sound weird? Sometimes a girl needs a REAL GOOD cry. It lets out so much. Okay I'm going back to the movie. LOVE

Totally Stoked!!

2010-03-19T20:18:00.001-04:00

It offical my sister is having a little baby GIRL!! Wendy's her name!! I can't wait.

Happy Birthday to EVERYONE!!

2010-03-17T20:41:00.003-04:00

In these photos are some of the most important people in my life. And it happens that their birthdays are smooched together. (which makes it easy to remember hehe) First Eli...Man what can I say. When Mommmy brought you home from the hospital I know that our family was truly complete. You were so big, but so little to me. I remember seeing your face and just fallin in love. I made a promise that I would be a great big sister. I vowed to never let you down. I hope that I've kept that promise. I love you very much and I'm extremely blessed to have you in my life. Happy Birthday. You old fart!! Second Holly.....Girl what can I say. I'm so happy that my brother chose such a wonderful wife. You bring so much fun to our very dis'fun'ctional famly. I love your laugh. I love the way you're blunt with Mommy. You're so awesome I can't even explain. I love you very much. Happy Birthday!! Now last but definitely not least my First ever Tadpole Mae....Honey I remember the day you were born. I was so excited to have a little niece to play with. You are so beautiful (just like your Mommy). I'm always amazed by you wit and spirt. Even though you are so young, you set such a wonderful example to EVERYONE you come across. I love you sweety have a WONDERFUL birthday.

What Animal Lies in Your Spirt??

2010-02-26T11:36:00.002-05:00

I took this quiz on Facebook (b/c I have no life). And found that my Spirt Animal is a wolf. This in ironic because the wolf is my favorite animal of all time. I've always admired them from afar. Very beautiful and majestic. You are a wolf - one of the strongest and respected animals there are throughout history. The wolf is a determined, tough, and versatile creature found in almost any environment: from mountains to deserts to prairies. Although the wolf personality can represent the strength and ability that comes from a lone wolf, this is actually quite rare. Most of the time wolves, like in nature, thrive and survive in packs, coordinating in an organized manner within their society. Wolves also tend to often have many close and loyal friends around them to back them up in times of need just as they stand behind those they care about. In relationships, most wolves also remain faithful to their partner and maintain a strong friendship no matter what happens - they generally keep in contact with their past lovers and never forget the bond they have as companions. The wolf inspires strength, loyalty, and faith in others even in the darkest times. They are strong, deep-thinking, loyal personalities and can always be counted on in the end. If you look into a person with a wolf-like spirit, you realize that they have deep and powerful eyes that are hard to discern what they are thinking about or feeling. Wolves often may not show emotion as much as others, but inside lingers much thought and feeling. Howling at the full moon as the gentle breeze flows across the mountain side, the wolf reminds everyone to stand strong even in the darkest of nights

Been Awhile.....

2010-02-23T01:08:00.003-05:00

For some reason I've been thinking about Poppy. I don't know why?! I thought I was thru all this crying crap! But apparently I'm not. I'll watch a movie and think "Man Poppy would be cracking up right now" or "Look kids a old Chevy" and I start crying. I'm sick of crying. Just sick of it. WHY??!! That's all I can manage right now. Tears are fallin' as we speak.

Something I Would Love For People to Stop Talking About!!!

2010-01-07T05:30:00.004-05:00

I was hanging with some friends the other night and they kept bringing up is the fact that I was out of my house and I was eating!! I couldn't believe it! Yes, I got of my house....not really by choice. Chris had already told them we would come over to chill. I didn't really want to go, but Chris wanted me to...so I went. For him!! And the eating thing is really getting on my last nerve. I KNOW...I'm eating. Stop the presses. Stephanie put food in her mouth. Oh my goodness. Mark the calender y'all!! I mean come on. Enough is enough. I know YOU want to see me at 130 or even 140...but come on!! I'm trying very hard NOT to let weight judge my life and when you keep bringing it up it just upsets me more. AND I STOP EATING!! It triggers something in my head saying that 130 is way to big and I need to stop eating now so I DON'T get that high. I'M TRYING PEEPS!! Please get off my back already about the whole thing. This is one reason I stop going over there. Because they kept bringing it up. I thought they got the message.....but I was very wrong. So here's the bottom line. One...DO NOT BRING UP FOOD OR EATING TO ME (unless you are my doctor or mother) Two...If I don't want to leave the house...I WON'T and I have that right. Three...well...I don't know yet but when I think of it I'll let you know.

New Year....New Post

2010-01-04T04:11:00.003-05:00

My first post of the year...yeah!! All is good here in the Bowman-Clarkson household. Kids are somewhat well behaved. Hubby is doing great. And I'm moving day by day. So much has happened in the last year. Some I am grateful for and some I was not expecting. None the less, it was a very interesting 2009. Lets see what 2010 brings....shall we?!

My Christmas...

2009-12-23T14:45:00.002-05:00

You can copy and paste it on your blog/email. Just copy and fill it in. Have fun! 1. WRAPPING PAPER OR GIFT BAG? Total gift bag girl. I can't stand wrapping anything. But I prefer to unwrap a gift then take it out of a bag. What's wrong with me? lol 2. REAL OR FAKE TREE: Fake all the way. Can't stand the needles and constant watering. I have absolutely no green thumb. And it's just easier with kids. All of that and I was raised with fake trees...sooooo 3. WHEN DO YOU PUT UP THE TREE: Generally we put it up Thanksgiving night. However this year we put it up about a week or two late. 4. WHEN DO YOU TAKE THE TREE DOWN: As soon as possible....get everything back into order. But Chris likes it up for a while after.....I win. ;) 5. DO YOU LIKE EGGNOG: LOVE LOVE LOVE eggnog!! I get it from my mother!! Thanks mom. 6. FAVORITE GIFT RECEIVED AS A CHILD: I had several. Puffalumps, cabbage patch kids, a big barbie head (to practice my makeup and hair skills) and my all time fav.....the Globe. hehehe 7. DO YOU HAVE A NATIVITY SCENE: I do not. Sad isn't it. 8. HARDEST PERSON TO BUY FOR: My kids.....I never know what to get them. EVER!! 9. WORST CHRISTMAS GIFT YOU EVER GOT: I really don't recall ever getting a gift I didn't like. I love presents!! 10. EASIEST PERSON TO BUY FOR: I would have to say my hubby, Chris. Get him some socks and he's cool. 11. MAIL OR EMAIL CHRISTMAS CARDS: If I sent out cards.... 12.FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE: The Christmas Story!! Best holiday movie ever! 13. WHEN DO YOU START SHOPPING FOR CHRISTMAS: About a week before.....I know, I'm horrible. 14. HAVE YOU EVER RECYCLED A CHRISTMAS PRESENT: No, I don't believe I have. (apparently I've watched to much Star Trek...I'm talking like Spock. lol) 15. FAVORITE THING TO EAT AT CHRISTMAS: Mommy's fruit minced pie! It's the bomb. That and mommy's famous cheeseball! 16. COLORED OR CLEAR LIGHTS ON THE TREE: I love color. Just not the flashing ones...which is what Chris and the kids love. So we compromise and have both. I'm a sucker for smiles on holidays. 17. TRAVEL AT CHRISTMAS OR STAY HOME: The one time I was GOING to travel for Christmas I got shingles....so now I stay home. 18. CAN YOU NAME ALL OF SANTA'S REINDEER: I could say yes (just to one up my sister lol) however....No. Sadly I have kids and don't know ALL the reindeer names. I know I know, I'm pathetic hehe. 19.ANGEL ON THE TREE TOP, OR A STAR: We have an angel right now. But normally we put a star up. One that lights up and is all cheesy!! I love those. 20. OPEN THE PRESENTS CHRISTMAS EVE OR MORNING: Since we have so many different places to go and people to see we usally wait until Christmas night. It's quiet and calm and just us. 21. MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT THIS TIME OF YEAR: In Ohio it has to be the holiday drivers. I can't stand them. Learn how to drive people!! 22. WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT CHRISTMAS: My family!! Always have always will. 23. HOT CHOCOLATE OR CIDER: Both....why do I have to choose!! 24. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS: All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. Sorry......what was the question? 25.FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG: Anything by Nat King Cole!!

Happy Birthday Son

2009-12-20T22:26:00.005-05:00

On December 21 1996 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Alexander Mason. My son. My first born son. You had a head full of dark hair, your dad's nose and my chin. Your cry was the sweetest cry I've ever heard. When the nurse put you in my arms I fell in love so deep. I never thought I could love someone so much. I could see so much for you. I wanted to give you everything that you deserve and more. You have taught me much in the last thirteen years Al. You have taught me patience, when I thought I didn't have any. You've taught me how to really love, when I thought I didn't deserve any. You've taught me to be strong, when others are weak. YOU have taught ME! I love you son, very much. Happy birthday!

Holloween 2009 (I know it's late but deal with it)

2009-11-14T23:54:00.006-05:00

I had the honor or taking my children, their friends, their boyfriends and the boyfriends cousin. A total of 8 kids (not including myself...hehehe). I loved watching the kids running from house to house getting as much candy as they could. It brought wonderful memories of my childhood at Colonial Hills back to me. Best believe next year we are so going to my old hood for beggars night.

Front Row: Alex, Vadelia, Hannah, Emma Back row: Robert Lacey and Katey

Lacey's having a great time. She was supposed to be a man...but it really didn't turn out that way.

Emma of course was a Fiery Princess.

Alex in all his Glory!!!

This is Steven he came along to make fun of Robert and to help with the 'Little Ones'

This would be Robert and yes he's dress like a girl. (he was kind to give Alex his mask) So Robert went as a Girl

Katey was a of Goth Princess. I see my future and I'm VERY SCARED!!!

Of course this is Hannah Banana. She was also a Princess.

This is Vadelia (Roberts little sister). She went as princess herself.

How Things Are Going.....

2009-10-11T15:01:00.002-04:00

I have good days and I have bad days, just like everyone else. I'm staying on top of my meds and feeling good about myself. And it's been a looooong time since that has happened. The kids are doing good. Alex is playing the Trombone and still in Boy Scouts. Katey is reading so much I practically have to rip the books away at bedtime. Emma is still Emma. Cute and wonderful. Always worried about someone or something. But in a good way. She's always been full of love and this is what amazes me about my youngest daughter. She sees the light in everything. Lacey...well lets just say that being 15 yrs old is rough. Of course! However, she is coming through with fling colors. Chris and I just celebrated out 5 year anniversary this past Friday. WOW 5 years!!! I'm shooting for about 100,000,000,000,000 years more. ;) I'm still going to counseling and seeing my doctor on a regular basis. Things seem to be lighting up for all of us. I feel I have to say this, though I believe everyone already knows, I love my family with every fiber of my being. My kids and husband have been through the ringer with me and they have stayed by my side through the whole ordeal. The last several months have been difficult I know, but they are all there to make me smile..even if I don't want to. My mother, sister and brothers (this includes husbands and wives) have supported me in whatever I do. They have been there to listen to me cry or scream or yell or really anything. I love you all very much. Thank you for being in my life. And I also know that my wonderful Poppy is always with me. Right next to me when I need him the most. I can feel him!! Anyway I just wanted to give an update and whatnot's. I love you all and will talk to everyone real soon!!

Short Note

2009-09-26T14:02:00.003-04:00

If you don't already know I spent 4 days in the hospital for mental reasons. I'm considering having another blog to explain how someone can get through depression and anxiety. Or at least my path on the subject. Maybe this is my path? Maybe this is what I'm supposed to do? Just maybe Heavenly Father has put this in front of me to help others. My Grandmother Wendy told me that I needed to be in the public...doing something with people. Maybe this can be my contribution. What do you think?

This SUCKS!!

2009-09-15T20:02:00.002-04:00

I have no idea what to put down other than I'm having a REALLY REALLY hard time with EVERYTHING!! I tried to get into a program that just MAY help....but my insurance won't pay for ANY of it. I don't have $1000.00 a day for the program. My gas got shut off and we have no hot water. Britt and Josh have been really good sports with letting us use their stove, shower and whatever else we need. I'm right now at the library to write this. I'm mad, sad, angry, hurt...you name it and I'm feeling it. The meds seem to be working, but I don't how much they're really working. I feel like shit. I feel like my life is only for my kids and I don't even have the strength to deal. Maybe I do need to be somewhere else. Maybe I need to get away?! But where does someone go when your mind won't let you escape? I feel like I'm going CRAZY!!!!! I mean really CRAZY!

I Can't Do This Alone....

2009-09-06T19:44:00.003-04:00

My life is rough right now. I cannot do it alone. I just wanted to thank my mother, husband, kids, brothers and sisters. I also would like to thank my Doctor, counsiler and friends. Without them I don't know if I could get through all the shit I'm going through. So thank you for all that y'all are doing. I love you all!!

Happy Birthday Poppy!!

2009-07-11T19:31:00.002-04:00

Happy Birthday Poppy! You're the best.

A Special Email

2009-06-30T02:25:00.010-04:00

My wonderful Aunt Linda sent me an e-mail and sadly I never really read it until tonight. I was always to busy or just didn't feel like reading at that time. If it doesn't have pictures I may just pass it by. Just kidding of course, however I was sorting through all the mail when I had a strong need to read what was sent to me weeks ago. I was blown away! It was exactly what I needed to hear and at one of my lowest moments to boot. I wanted to share it with all of you and hope it fills your hearts as it did mine. Thank you Aunt Linda for these wonderful words. I love you!! ***** Wrote By Natatlie Tucker Miller---There is no urgency, ever Great things happen when you feel safe and are in an environment rich with possibility. More than ever I understand that you can learn a lot about how someone feels about themselves by listening to what they are saying about others. If you spend too much time concerned about a back up plan, the chance is great that you will end up doing the back up plan. Life will deliver to you what you expect. Be willing to stand by your ideas while allowing others to do the same, no matter how opposing they may seem. If you want quality, abandon deadlines. Instead, target dates will keep you on track with the built in flexibility that will net more satisfying results. Everything works out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out, it’s not the end. The notion that nothing is personal has more power than anything else I’ve learned. However anyone feels about you or what you are doing is from their unique frame of reference. That’s all any of us have until we decide to remove the frame and allow an unlimited view. This is when relationships can grow and strengthen even under the most adverse of conditions. There is always a choice. Everybody is right. Replacing self-criticism with self-reflection has magic powers. Inspire others by being inspired by them.

Father's Day

2009-06-21T18:36:00.004-04:00

This is how I remember my father. Happy, healthy and full of live. This is how I will always see him. He loved cars and a hanging out with his family. I can't be with him today of all days. I cry every time someone says "Happy Fathers Day". It doesn't feel the same. My father's not here. Why should I be happy? Yeah I know Chris is my kids dad, and he deserves the absolute best. He's a great father. I give him many kudos for being who he is. He's the best. I couldn't ask for someone better. It's just very hard to see my kids going to their dad and hugging, kissing and giving homemade cards and I can't do the same. It hurts so much. So very much. Please don't get me wrong...I'm very thankful for all the fathers out there. Y'all rock!! Really you do. I just want mine back.

My Mini Vacation

2009-06-18T01:36:00.002-04:00

I have spent the last 5 nights in total bliss. The boy was at his dad's, Lacey was at her friends and Katey and Emma were at Patty's house. Originally it was going to be only for one or two nights then the days start adding up. It's been great!! We've gotten to sleep in, go to the pool and chill, take naps, watch the TV shows WE want to watch and NOT DO ANYTHING! I have to admit I haven't been cleaning either. It's been to relaxing. I seriously took a mini vacation!! I didn't even have to leave the state. It was great. We talked to the kids a couple times a day and recouped ourselves for the rest of the summer. And trust me when I say the next several weeks are going to be hell on both Chris and I!! Camping, pool parties, house party (Lacey wants this one) not to mention all the friends the kids want to stay the night. The way I think about it....If I only get these short 5 days of peace and quiet for the rest of the summer, I should be just fine.

Emma and Her Chin

2009-06-12T14:29:00.004-04:00

Emma told me that she was done putting antibiotic ointment on her chin. It was healed enough. I asked her why? She said that she wanted to have a scar. Again I asked her why? Emma then turned to me and said..."That way I'll have a scar just like you and Alex." I just melted.

Cookies

2009-06-12T14:16:00.002-04:00

Lacey asked her daddy if she could go to the store and get ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies for everyone. Chris told Lacey to talk me into taking all the children including one of Emma's little friends from school. Lacey and her childlike ways looked at her father, smiled, padded her eyelashes and said..."But daddy I wanted YOU to take us." "Why?" Chris asked chuckling. "Because your my daddy and I wanted to go with YOU." Chris went happily to the store with a huge smile on his face.

Wanna See Something Freaky...

2009-06-07T14:33:00.003-04:00

Okay so when I went to my mothers blog I saw this picture and thought to myself....WOW I look just like my beautiful mother...You be the judge.

My Little Champ!!

2009-06-06T23:32:00.009-04:00

Emma Jane just learned how to ride a bike a couple of weeks ago. She's so proud of herself. I'm so very proud of her. She has accomplished and overcome so much in the last several months. Emma's no longer scared of the dark (as long as the door is open..baby steps), swims in the 5 feet (huge accomplishment) and rides a bike. Today Emma and her friends went for a bike ride at the school. The next thing I know Kelsey was knocking and knocking and knocking and wouldn't let up until I opened the door. She looked at me with her big doe eyes and told me that Emma was really hurt and needed Chris and I. I yelled at Chris to get the car and meet me at the school. I run out the door so fast the next thing I knew I was at my daughters side. When I got there Emma was moved to a neighbors house. Emma's little friend Hannah and her mother were there putting pressure on her chin, which was gashed pretty well. Then I look up and Destiny's mother was starting to put a cold compress on Emma's finger. I looked at my youngest daughter with tears in her eyes, knelt by her side and prayed. Prayed that she will be okay. Prayed that Heavenly Father will watch over her and calm her heart. Chris pulled up and we went to the Hospital. There we sat and waited for the doctor to come back. Then all of a sudden a familiar voice started coming into the room. It was Dr. John. This was the same P.A that treated Katey and Emma for strep. Well, he remembered Emma and wanted to take care of her himself. Emma remembered him as well and she was immediately at ease. She didn't have to get used to another doctor. Trust me when I say that ALL of us were totally relieved. This man was awesome. He walked Emma through everything that he was going to do. First they took and x-ray of her finger...all good, other than the bruising. So when that was all done he looked at Emma's chin and said that she was going to have to fix it. Emma asked for the super glue, Dr. John told Emma that he was going to get a Nurse to bring in some numbing stuff then he'll put on the glue. When the Nurse came in all Emma saw was a syringe-like thing. Emma immediately went into a fetal position. Chris and I were stunned and shocked. Both of us went into action. I looked at the Nurse and told her about her anxiety. Thankfully she understood and relaxed herself. Chris and I were trying to relax Emma when the Nurse said that she just needed to get something off her chin and put a piece of gauze with the numbing solution on it. Emma just looked at her and asked if she put on the 'stuff'. The nurse replied with a nob. Emma then said, "That was a smart idea." she then relaxed and laid back. Dr. John came in and glued Emma's chin together and fix her finger (it still needed to be drained of blood). Emma was to be laying down for all of this...which she did not like. He was real quick with the glue and then went her finger. He had to burn a hole in her nail to drain all the blood that was collecting under it. By the time Dr. John was done Emma was smiling and laughing at all his jokes. And making some herself. Below are some of the after shots. Don't worry, it looks worse then what it really is. Emma was an angel through the whole ordeal.

Emma's first battle wound (from her bike) Close up. Looks worse than what it really is. Finger all bandaged up. More updates about this one coming soon.

New Apartment

2009-05-29T17:15:00.003-04:00

What I see when I look out my living room window My living room Dining room Wall-O-Photos My new door

I didn't know that Egypt was a Planet?

2009-05-28T12:30:00.003-04:00

Chris, Josh, Britt and I were sitting around the table playing Kings Corners when this conversation went down. All of this was while we were all laughing our butts off. Josh: Britt are you from another planet?? Britt: Yes I'm from Egypt. All of us: Say what?! Britt: Yes I'm from Planet Egypt right next to Planet Mercedes. We all lost it. I love you Britt. Thank you for making my day a little brighter.

New Apartment...Pic's coming soon

2009-05-27T10:51:00.002-04:00

Moving weekend went rather smooth. All the kids helped (and I mean ALL the kids helped). Not only did we have our 4 but also Robert, V.V, Hannah, Anina, Patty, Dave and Brittany. My old apartment is spotless and my new apartment looks like we've lived here for 10 months. No lie. Now it's time to organize and such. I'll keep you updated when I can. Pictures are coming soon, so don't worry y'alls pretty little heads. My love to everyone who helped. Thank you!!

For my Poppy

2009-05-08T11:44:00.002-04:00

A very close friend of mine told me about this song and I fell in love. Thank you Brittany. I love you Poppy forever and ever. Till we meet again.

Crystal Shawanda More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

In Loving Memory Of Donald Lee Bowman II. I love forever and always.

2009-05-04T17:18:00.003-04:00

The man standing with all the children is my wonderful Father, Donald Lee Bowman II. He passed away today (5-04-09). He was 58 years young and full of life. He was a strong and caring man. He was my Poppy. He will be missed. One of my fondest memories of my dad was when my son was born. He held Alex in his arms and would whisper in his ear. I never knew what he told him that day at the hospital but whatever it was Alex listened. After Poppy was finished, Alex decided that his first (pardon the expression) fart was going to be in his grandfathers arms. Poppy just looked at him and smiled. Then said "Good he works. We don't have to give him back." I had a great chuckle over that. I remember going to an overnight camp and when my mom and dad came to pick us up I was in tears. I was so happy to see my Poppy. I never went to camp after that. I remember at nights when my dad had to work late, I would stay up until I heard his voice say "I'm home." then I would go right to sleep. I remember pizza nights in front of the TV watching Micheal Jackson's Moon Walk movie. I remember when I was in any trouble I would go to my Poppy first. He was always the one that would get me out of the trouble I was in, and he was never mad. I will always remember the look the look in his eyes every time he looked at his grandchildren. He was always full of love for them. They always came first. He would bring me clothes, toys, furniture and most of all he would bring them candy. Skittles, MMs, paydays, you name it he would bring it. Poppy will forever and always be loved. You're in a better place Poppy. I'm sure Grandma Helen was there to greet you with open arms. I know that you'll be watch over not only your children but your grandchildren as well. You hold a piece of my heart until I see you again. I love you with all my heart and soul.

Tribute to Brittany and Lacey

2009-04-30T23:06:00.002-04:00

Okay I have to tell y'all a little bit about Lacey and Brittany. Brittany is 20 and Lacey just turned 15. When we first met Brittany I fell in love with her. Yes I'm older than her but she's the best. She reminds me a lot of me when I was younger (only she's more together hehe). Anyway, the first time Lacey met Brittany it was totally different. Here was someone who she could relate to more than mom and dad. The wonderful thing about this relationship is that Brittany is someone that Lacey can go to. Whether it's school issues, parent issues, boyfriend issues (Robert is Britt's little brother), just about anything, and I love it. Thank you Britt for being there for Lacey. You mean the world to us, to Lacey. We love you!!

Just Got Word...

2009-04-29T23:18:00.002-04:00

I just got word this morning that we got the three bedroom apartment. Someone was nice enough to realize that we needed it more. She even said that. I couldn't believe my ears. How sweet this person is to give up something she's been waiting for a long time for. If I only knew who she was I would hug her and thank her so much for everything. I'll have more on Friday, when we talk to the Manager. I'm so excited.

Update about Lacey

2009-04-26T16:20:00.000-04:00

Okay. So Lacey told me something rather interesting right after I posted my last entry. Lacey's friend that threw the party has completely changed her ways, because of Lacey. She acually said that! Lacey showed courage and strength and this young lady saw it. Lacey told me that this child has quit smoking, doing drugs and her grades are back up to B's. She told Lacey that after she left the cops were called and she got really scared. Basicly scared her straight. She got a glemise of something that she didn't like. Reality sunk in for her. When Lacey told me this I was in tears. Of course we all know that Lacey is sensitive, loving and very accepting of other. However, I think that Lacey needed to have someone else see it before she acually believed us. After all we are her family and just a little biased. Lacey I love you with all my heart and soul. You mean the world to your father and I. I'm truely blessed to have such a wonderful daughter. Thank you for being you. I love you sweetheart!

Lacey and Robert

2009-04-25T02:40:00.000-04:00

Okay so this might not be the best picture of Lacey and Robert but it'll do. Robert is a 14 yr. old from Reese Ohio. Lacey is 14 yr. old from Worthington (yeah!!!). They both came from completely different families. Different friends. Different schools. Different everything. But somehow this wonderful young man has made my daughter very happy. It's only been a few months but you can see the love in their eyes. Robert makes Lacey smile. Not the smile that a teenager puts on her face for friends and family. A real genuine smile. A smile that you give the one that you love with all your heart. I can see she cares for this boy. And he cares for her. For example: Lacey went to a party at a so-called friends house. She thought it was going to be her friend and herself. Then her "friend" called a bunch of senors and older boys. Lacey got uncomfortable. This "friend" of hers also started snorting X (very strong street drug). Lacey got even more scared. She didn't know what to do, so she called Robert. Robert was fishing with his buddies when he got the call. Lacey was freaking out but Robert kept his cool. He told her to go into the bathroom and lock the door, he would call her right back. He in turn called his dad Scott, and told him the situation. Robert called Lacey and told her to call her dad. When she did this, Scott called to let us know what was going on. Thankfully Chris' cousin Stephanie (I know freaky huh) was in town and took Chris and I to go get Lacey. When we picked her up she jumped in the car. Robert had stayed on the phone with her until we got there. He was making sure that she was okay. I don't know that many 14 yr olds who would drop his fishing pole and friends to make sure that his girlfriend was okay. Heck most boys at that age don't give a crap. Lacey's truly blessed. And so are we.

Long Over Due Update

2009-04-22T19:00:00.000-04:00

Okay so a lot has been going on in the last month or so. Where do I start? !. Alex and Valdelia are no longer a couple. They decided that it was best if they were just friends. 2.Chris got sole custody of Lacey and Katelynn. They dropped there mothers maiden name ,so now instead of Clarkson-Penn they are fully and forever Clarkson. Everyone loves having them with us. Especially Emma Jane. She loves having both her sisters here with her. 24/7 sisters-not every other weekend sisters. A very joyous month! 3.Report Cards all came out and each one of them brought home nothing but A's and B's!!! EVERYONE! Emma Katey Alex and Lacey!!! First time ever. Thank you Worthington Schools!! 4. My doctor called my last week and told me that my Thyroid is whacked and I have to take medicine to get it under control. Well I did some research and found that this could be some of the reasons I haven't been feeling well. Why my hair is falling out. Why I'm such a B*@^#% to my wonderful husband. Why about a lot of things. This news hit me rather hard and I didn't really know how to take it all in. Then I found that the majority of women on my mom's side have problems with their thyroids as well. Now I don't feel so bad about it. It actually make a little sense. This could be the reason we're so Matriartical. You never mess with a Snider/McCoy chick!! Bottom Line: We're happy. We're loved. We're healthy (for the most part). What more could you ask for?!

I Love You

2009-03-24T22:47:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to let all my family know that I love them with all my heart. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for you. Thank you.

Just a few things Lacey has said.

2009-02-25T20:27:00.003-05:00

I was going over my daughter Lacey MySpace page and found some things she wrote that hit me to the core. Not in a bad way, but in the best way possible. She brought tears to my eyes. These tears are full of love and admiration. Can I just say that I love my children so much!!!! jette and brittany~lets just start with i love you guys you guys are like my heroes and i know you will help me with anything i need. jette~ILY!!! i know we have had some problems in the past but we still got through it. you are like my mother no matter what happens i will always love you. love everyone in my whole family i know that they will always be there for me even when i screw up. and i know this because i have screwed up, many times. and guess what? they are still there for me because they love me and i love them. that's the one thing i love the most about my family is that they will stick with me through thick and thin. this is a family like no other not everyone is there (britt and josh) but that's because they are just now a part of our family. anyways, we are silly goofy and know how to make each other happy and show that we care. we will always love each other no matter what. i feel at home over at my dads. and i love alex brittany and josh and jordan as if they were my blood relatives. i wouldn't even think about helping them in any way. they are all amazing people and we all fit and have our own special thing. were not afraid of what other people think because were the family that doesn't have to pretend to be perfect we just are! we might not all live together but we all love each other as if we did i love you all<33

Okay Here's Your UPDATE!! hehehehe

2009-02-21T18:59:00.003-05:00

So a lot has been going on in the last couple of months. Lacey started dating, Katey's moving in, Alex has his first girlfriend and Emma gets a 27/7 big sister in the house. Where to start first....Lets start with the oldest. Lacey's dating a really sweet young man by the name of Robert. They've been together for about 2 months now. They go to separate schools and only see each other only when Lacey's at our house. Since they started this new thang Lacey was shy and quiet. She very rarely smiled and only gave half hugs. You know the kind...hugs from the side?! NOW she's smiling and she's really happy. She hugs us like she means it and tells us she loves us. When we brought up the fact that this was going on she just said..."You guys show more affection then any family I know. You say you love each other and mean it. You tuck in your children without having them ask. And I want to be around that. I love you guys." This about made Chris and I both cry. Because of this Lacey has pretty much decided to move in with us this summer. (we aren't supposed to know but I overheard hehehe) Now Katey's turn. Apparently Katey's having a hard time at her mothers. So Chris and Debbie thought it was time for Katey to move in with her father. Chris is absolutely thrilled about this of course, but knows it's going to be hard. Everything is changing. Katey won't be able to get away with half of what she gets away with at her mothers. She knows this too. Debbie and Chris have discussed this in length with Katey about what's going to happen. So now Emma Jane is going to have both her big sister and her big brother at her school. :) Emma told me that she didn't know how to handle having both with her all the time. I just sat her down and told her that she was one of the luckiest people on the planet! Now only does she have both her mother and father in the same house now she'll have 2 out of 3 of her siblings. Now on to Alex (which I'm sure my mother and sister and thankful for haha). Just to let ya'll know this is how I woke up this morning...."Hey mommy" "What's up Alex? How did you sleep?" "Oh I slept fine. Oh by the way I have a girlfriend." I'm in the kitchen and my mouth drops. "Excuse me son? You have a WHAT????" "Yeah! Vidella (or Val) and I are boyfriend and girlfriend." "What do you think that means SON?" "Well, we just hold hands and play games all day. Right?!" "Yes son that is what you do. Play video games and hold hands." I send him on his way and call for Chris. "CHRIS!!!!!!!!" Chris runs into the kitchen and I tell him about Alex's and I's conversation. Chris just smiles and goes to talk to Al. When he comes back I asked how it went?! "Everything is just fine honey. Don't worry. It's nothing serious. They're just friends." Chris then kisses me on my head and tells me to drink my coffee before it goes cold. So not only is my oldest daughter dating, but now my only son is too. So this is the jest of what has been going on in the last couple of months. Everyone is healthy and happy. That's all that matters. Love to all!!

Okay

2009-01-24T19:40:00.001-05:00

so something happened when I was tring to redo my profile. I'll get back to it soon. Love you all!!

New Pictures

2009-01-24T19:10:00.003-05:00

I was bored one night and decided to take a few pictures of me WITH and WITHOUT makeup. Hope you like them. Love you all!!

Just to Vent

2009-01-23T20:10:00.002-05:00

Just to let ya'll know this is just something that I have to get off my chest. Please don't judge me. Here's the thing... I'm so sick of people telling me that they're my friends and then when I need them the most they are to high and mighty to help. Where do they get off telling me that I'm not good enough for anything?! Ya'll can suck my balls.

Uncle Larry

2009-01-19T01:35:00.000-05:00

My uncle Larry is more than just an Uncle. He was my Grandfather, Uncle, Brother and most importantly my Friend. I just found out the other day that my wonderful Uncle Larry was going to be passing on very soon. I love him so much. He taught me how to dive with only one shot. He was my teacher. Everything he has ever told me I take to heart and follow his lead. If he had looked at me and told me to jump like a kangaroo, on one leg while spinning plates on sticks, I wouldn't hesitate and do my best. That is the type of guy he is.He connected me to my Jewish past and let me know that I was more than just another face in the ground. He made me feel beautiful-not matter what. Some of the great memories of this wonderful man are going even stronger with every waking minute. The times he would stand of his head. I would always worry that he was going to hurt himself. But of course he never did. And when it came time to meet my wonderful husband Chris, he pulled me aside and said he wanted to talk for just a second. When he pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. But the last was the one that meant the most. He asked me "Does this young man treat you like the Princess that you are? Is he your Knight?" I in turn looked into his loving eyes and with a smile on my face said "Yes. Yes Chris does." He took his hands, put them on my face and kissed my forehead so softly that tears came to my eyes. You could feel his love just meld into my soul when he hugged me. I love you so very much Uncle Larry. Who I am in partially because of you. I thank you for all that you have taught me. Your love. Your respect. Your admiration. But mostly thank you from that bottom of my heart and soul for your love in my life. I love you!

New Year's Eve 2008

2009-01-02T13:02:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXANDER MASON!!

2008-12-21T14:48:00.001-05:00

Twelve years ago today I was holding my beautiful first born son Alexander Mason in my arms. He laid there all quiet and peaceful, so content to be here with me. There was a moment when everyone was gone and it was just mommy and son, Alex looked up at me with those big brown eyes and I knew that it was going to be the two of us forever. I love you Alex. Have a wonderful birthday.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

2008-11-27T09:50:00.002-05:00

I am so very blessed this year. I have a great family and wonderful friends. I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. My kids are doing great in school and in life. Not to mention that my marriage is fab-boo. Everything seems to be on an up swing and hoping it stays that way! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

New Apartment

2008-11-15T15:22:00.000-05:00

To Much To Say...

2008-11-15T15:06:00.001-05:00

Sorry I've been away for so long. I haven't been able to get to a computer. A lot has gone on in my life in the last several months. I started babysitting Layton, one of my dearest friend son, then lost that when his mother went to part-time. I met new friends! Which is always a good thing. One family lives across the hall and the other lives around the corner. It's really great. We're all in the same building and all different ages. It's nice to see 3 or 4 generations of people getting along with no problems. It's like our own little family. We watch out for one another and make sure that everyone has what they need. We all have children ranging from 8 months to 24 yrs. Very large span I know, but it's interesting to watch and be a part of. The family across the hall is closer to Chris and I's ages. And we seem to have the most in common. We all play D&D (role playing game), like the same movies, play board games and cards together. They have a little girl named Jordan. She's about to be one in March. I call her my Ladybug because she is so little and cute. Jordan will scream if Emma doesn't pick her up right away when she comes home from school. They just love each other. Emma even told me that she thinks of Jordan as a little sister and likes to take care of her. She feeds her, plays with her and makes sure that she isn't getting into to much trouble. It's so cute to watch. Emma's going to make a wonderful mother some day. I can just see it! As for Alex...well he's doing great! He got a trophy for baseball, taking martial arts lessons and is getting all A's and B's!! Emma got mostly C's on her report card, but you do know what they say... 'When you get A's in Columbus, you gets C's in Worthington.' That's has always been the rule-even from when I was a little girl. I'm so glad that my children are doing so well now. It's nice to see their faces light up when they bring home an A on a test or project. I'm going to go now...my fingers are about to break off from all the typing. I'll try to do a better job with the update. My love to all!!

Some of Everyday Life

2008-11-15T15:04:00.000-05:00

Emma Turns 10

2008-09-18T19:25:00.000-04:00

I wanted to tell y'all a little about Emma's day. She's been really lucky and hasn't had school all week due to the wind storm of Sunday so we decided to treat her to a special day. Chris and I took her to Walmart to get whatever she wanted. She got new clothes and a dog that wiggles when you play with it. Then we took her for a birthday lunch at Olive Garden (her choice) and they sang her happy birthday and lavished her with attention. Then she and I went to Target. She didn't understand why we were there. I just kept my mouth closed and when we got to the stuffies I told her she could get about 5 or 6 new ones. (she lost most in the move) She was in heaven!! I can't describe the look on her face. It brought tears to my eyes. She also began to tear up. I asked her what was wrong and she just told me that she was very blessed to have Chris and I for parents. We just held each other and cried. I'm the one who is so blessed to have such a wonderful little girl in my life. She is my light, heart and soul. Thank you Lord for such a beautiful child. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to raise and love her.

Sorry it's been so long....

2008-09-18T19:15:00.000-04:00

Okay so it's been awhile but back. My wonderful father-in-law is letting us stay at his house while out power is out. Thank you Ike. (do you hear the sarcastic tone?) So where do I start. While Emma was in California we moved. BACK TO WORTHINGTON! I'm finally home. Out of the trailer and without the dogs. Boo-hoo but all good. We found fabulous homes for all of them. Actually Stoney, D.O.G and Keeper are at Chris mom's house. Which means we can see them whenever we want. This is reassuring to the children. Tok and Q-bit are with new family's and loving the country. Bid-it got adopted out to a nice family with lots of kids. She's going to be great for them. Okay enough of the dogs. Emma is now going to school with Alex at Wilson Hill elementary and absolutely loves it! I asked her what she liked best about her new school and she told me that she loved the fact that she can talk at lunch. Bring back any memories Nym?! Emma has Alex's 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Davis and she loves her. She has wonderful friends and is really excited to have a slumber party. Our apartment is a little 2 bedroom 1 1/2 bath hole in the wall but we love it. It has white walls and doesn't stick of animals. Every time I walk into the house I almost cry with joy. Emma's room is all pink and purple and girlie. She has all her stuffies all over her bed and clothes in her closet, not in baskets. The kids also have a playground and pool for the dog days of summer. WE HAVE A POOL!! I'm loving life. Some others things have changed as well. I no longer working at McGraw-Hill. You heard me correctly-I quit! I was so sick of the bullshit and favoritism. Needed to get out before I went insane. Chris and I discussed things and decided that I would stay home and be the mother I always wanted to be and he would go back to work. He's only part-time but it's all good. With his social security check we can make it with extra to play with. I also just found out that one of my very best friends is going back to work and she asked me to watch her son. So I guess I will be working-sort of?! Any way to think about it, it's all good. Life is coming together and I love it. I feel like a real mom and wife. And not to mention Chris' feeling like a real father and husband. He's been in a rut about being a stay-at-home dad. He loved it, but we both felt that we should reverse the roles. Everything is going so wonderfully I'm scared that the other shoe is going to fall. It's hard to get out of that frame of mind when you been living it for so long. But we needed all the changes that has occurred.

My Baby is Leaving For 6 Weeks!!

2008-07-10T16:55:00.003-04:00

Emma Jane is getting a chance of a lifetime. Thanks to generous family members Emma is spending 6 weeks in Southern California. Emma's going to go places she only sees on the tv. She gets to meet new and interesting people. Emma also gets to do something that I wish I could do....see Emily, the kids and my mommy everyday! My daughter is going to hang more with my sister then me this year!! It's all good though. I know that Emma Jane is in good hands with my wonderful sister and perfect mother. I'm so happy and thrilled for my youngest daughter. I wish you nothing but love and happiness where ever you go! Love you sweets. Have a blast for me!!

My Baby Brother Got Hitched!!

2008-07-02T01:54:00.001-04:00

The wedding of Eric and Holly Bowman was a magical moment. I was very blessed to have been invited and able to go. It took place in a gazebo at Manpower Park in Jackson Ohio. As I stood there taking pictures I saw my little brother turn into a grown man. I saw his love for Holly and her love for him was all over her face. Holly looked beautiful of course and Eric was so very handsome standing there before his new wife. Eric and Holly-I wish you nothing but happiness and love in your marriage.

Clarkson Family Reunion--Michigan

2008-06-29T02:23:00.001-04:00

This took me over 4 Hours to do. (Except Rodger...that only took 15 minutes.)

2008-06-29T01:44:00.001-04:00

My New Camera

2008-06-29T01:39:00.001-04:00

Grandpa Henry Hock

2008-06-25T19:10:00.000-04:00

In the short time that I was gone some things have changed. My wonderful Grandpa Henry passed away a week ago Thursday. He was 95 years young and a wonderful man. He was beautiful inside and out. He loved the stock market and real estate. Grandpa was a man of no complaint. What I mean by this is that he never complained about anything. I never heard him complain about a headache, stomach ache or even when he got 37 staples in his arm....he just never complained. I've learned so much from him-even if I didn't show it all the time. He was a good man. You will forever be missed and loved.

Alexander's Face Recongition

2008-06-10T22:53:00.001-04:00

Emma Jane's Face Recongniton

2008-06-10T22:52:00.000-04:00

What Was Going On When I Was Born

2008-06-09T22:23:00.000-04:00

21 September 1976 Your date of conception was on or about 30 December 1975 which was a Tuesday. You were born on a Tuesday under the astrological sign Virgo. Your Life path number is 8. Your fortune cookie reads: You will be invited to an exciting event. Life Path Compatibility: You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22. You should get along well with those with the Life Path number 6. You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5. You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 7 & 9. The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2443042.5. The golden number for 1976 is 1. The epact number for 1976 is -1. The year 1976 was a leap year. Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/31/1976 and ending 2/17/1977. You were born in the Chinese year of the Dragon. Your Native American Zodiac sign is Bear; your plant is Violets. You were born in the Egyptian month of Hathys, the third month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil). Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 27 Elul 5736. Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 28 Elul 5736. The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.3.3.18 which is 12 baktun 18 katun 3 tun 3 uinal 18 kin The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Tuesday, 27 Ramadan 1396 (1396-9-27). The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 18 April 1976. The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 25 April 1976. The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 3 March 1976. The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 6 June 1976. The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 13 June 1976. The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 25 September 1976. The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 15 April 1976. The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 2 March 1976. As of 6/9/2008 10:23:59 PM EDT You are 31 years old. You are 381 months old. You are 1,655 weeks old. You are 11,584 days old. You are 278,038 hours old. You are 16,682,303 minutes old. You are 1,000,938,239 seconds old. Celebrities who share your birthday: Joseph Mazzello (1983) Nicole Richie (1981) Liam Gallagher (1972) David Silveria (1972) Alfonso Ribeiro (1971) Ricki Lake (1968) Faith Hill (1967) Darva Conger (1965) Rob Morrow (1962) David James Elliott (1960) Dave Coulier (1959) Bill Murray (1950) Stephen King (1947) Henry Gibson (1935) Leonard Cohen (1934) Larry Hagman (1931) H.G. Wells (1866) Top songs of 1976 Tonight's the Night by Rod Stewart Silly Love Songs by Wings Don't Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John & Kiki Dee Disco Lady by Johnnie Taylor Play The Funky Music by Wild Cherry December, 1963 (Oh What a Night) by Four Seasons 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon Kiss and Say Goodbye by Manhattans If You Leave Me Now by Chicago Love Hangover by Diana Ross Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.53385518590998 years old. (You're still chasing cats!) Your lucky day is Wednesday. Your lucky number is 5. Your ruling planet(s) is Mercury. Your lucky dates are 5th, 14th, 23rd. Your opposition sign is Pisces. Your opposition number(s) is 3. Today is not one of your lucky days! There are 104 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 32 candles. Those 32 candles produce 32 BTUs, or 8,064 calories of heat (that's only 8.0640 food Calories!) . You can boil 3.66 US ounces of water with that many candles. In 1976 there were approximately 3.1 million births in the US. In 1976 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile. In 1976 in the US there were approximately 2,152,662 marriages (10.1%) and 1,036,000 divorces (4.9%) In 1976 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000) In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds. In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds. In 1976 the population of Australia was approximately 14,110,107. In 1976 there were approximately 227,810 births in Australia. In 1976 in Australia there were approximately 109,973 marriages and 63,230 divorces. In 1976 in Australia there were approximately 112,662 deaths. Your birthstone is Sapphire The Mystical properties of Sapphire Though not meant to replace traditional medical treatment, Sapphire is used for clear thinking. Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources) Agate, Moonstone, Lapis Lazuli Your birth tree is Lime Tree, the Doubt Accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress and labour, tends to laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous, loyal. There are 199 days till Christmas 2008! There are 212 days till Orthodox Christmas! The moon's phase on the day you were born was waning crescent. Click on the picture for more information.

What My Name Means

2008-06-09T22:18:00.000-04:00

You entered: Stephanie Jette There are 14 letters in your name. Those 14 letters total to 58 There are 6 vowels and 8 consonants in your name. What your first name means: Greek Female Feminine form of Stephen: Crown; victorious. French Female Crowned in victory. Your number is: 4 The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth. The expression or destiny for #4: Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression. The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake. If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine. Your Soul Urge number is: 3 A Soul Urge number of 3 means: With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social. You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance. The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor. On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn't appreciate having these pointed out. Your Inner Dream number is: 1 An Inner Dream number of 1 means: You dream of being a leader and one who is in charge. You want to be known for your courage, daring, and original ideas. You seek unconquered heights. People may get a first impression that you are very aggressive and sure of yourself.

Laid-back Doer (LD)

2008-06-08T14:12:00.002-04:00

Laid-back Doers are friendly, happy persons. They enjoy being together with other people. Smart, eloquent, witty and charming, they like to be the centre of attraction. They do not like to be alone. Their zest for life ensures that others feel well in their company and that they quickly get to know people. Laid-back Doers get the best out of every moment - many people of this type have a gift for making their whole life one big party. Boredom is unknown in their presence because they are very good at carrying others away with their enthusiasm, their good mood and their optimism. Abstract thinking and profound philosophising about the meaning of life appeal less to Laid-back Doers. They are pragmatic, realistic and live completely in the here and now. At work too, they prefer it when it’s all go and they can act out their purposeful manner to the full. They have no problem handling several tasks at once and they blossom out in crisis situations! A varied field of activity with a lot of social contacts is just the right thing for them. One will also seldom find them inactive in their spare time; due to their open, curious nature, they mostly have many hobbies and interests. They are not afraid of the unknown: as they are flexible and creative, they quickly adjust to new situations and make the best of them. They sometimes come into conflict with strict rules or hierarchies by which they quickly feel constrained and against which they rebel. As friends, Laid-back Doers are generous, helpful persons who attach great importance to harmonious relationships and a good atmosphere. Their sociable manner means that they have a large circle of friends and they love having the house full of many different types of guests. They are happy to give in to their spontaneous moods and fancies in the just one or two important things. This makes them appear somewhat unpredictable to those with a quieter nature. When it really matters, you can rely on them one hundred percent. As a partner, they are creative, impetuous and imaginative - as long as their partner knows how to fascinate them. They can hardly stand boredom or routine in a relationship. They do not like conflicts at all; if a relationship becomes too strenuous or involves too much effort, they tend to withdraw from the partnership and start to look for a new partner. However, if one manages to keep their curiosity alive in the long term and surprise them again and again, one has a loyal and loving partner.

Can you say Mini-Debbie!!

2008-06-05T21:48:00.005-04:00

Here are some pictures that my cousin let me take and was kind enough to send me. I took a couple shots me and Chris. I was looking at these pics and I realized that I look just like my mother. It's really unreal. I mean I knew I looked like her but DAMN!! I think it's dead on! What do you think?

Get Ready Southern Cailfornia Here Comes Miss Emma Jane

2008-06-03T00:08:00.006-04:00

I'm sitting here trying to think of something to write and the only thing that comes to mind is the fact the my baby girl's going to California for most of the summer. Emma Jane will be staying with my sister (the mother of my wonderful niece and nephew) and mother (the worlds best mommy) most of the summer. What am I going to do without her? Emma went on a camping trip for 3 days and I was going insane all weekend. I talked Chris into going to a friends house to hang just so I could get out of our house. When she walked in the door on Sunday I wouldn't let her go. She just curled up with me on the bed and we just layed there hugging each other in quiet. We do everything together. Whenever I leave she's with me. It's very rare that she isn't in the back seat singing along with me to Sara Bareilles or even makeing up our own radio stations. My favorite station is the Unicorn Station. All love and magic. What am I going to do without my best friend this summer. Yes you read correct...my best is my 9 year old daughter. She knows me so well it's almost scary. She does little things that make me think.. "I used to do that when I was her age!" I know that she'll have fun and that is what's really important. I want her to have the opportunities that I didn't growing up. Of course I went on vacations with my family and all, but nothing like this. This is a once in a lifetime experience. I'm blessed to have family that can do this for my daughter. Emma's been looking forward to this trip since the beginning of the year. She has been really patient the last few weeks of school. But now she realizes that it's coming up VERY soon and she's ready for some fun. I'm not all upset and such, just to let you know. I'm sad that Emma is going for such a long time, I'm sad that I'm loosing my singing buddy, but trust me I NEED THE TIME!! Chris and I were talking and we haven't had this much time away from children in 14 years. Emma will be in California, Alex will be at his fathers, Lacey and Katelynn will be on a week on-week off schedule. Chris and I will have a week at a time without children. It's going to be nice at first not to hear all the noise and bickering. With that's going on maybe we all could use a change of pace and states.

Happy Mother's Day Mommy!!

2008-05-06T19:30:00.000-04:00

Okay so this might not be the best picture of my mother and I, but it's all I've got. (hint hint wink wink) Any Hoo--Mother's day is just around the corner and I wanted to say a couple of things. My mother is someone I've always considered my role model. Ever since I was a little girl I've looked up to her. I remember being only 5 years old and bragging to our neighborhood babysitter that my mommy made the best monster cookies. And she does. I remember being 10 years old and sick with Pneumonia and my mother made me feel better just by her touch. I remember when I was 14 years old and felt like the world was crashing down on me, my mother was there to pick up the pieces-no matter how big or small. I remember when I was 16 years old and got my heart broken for the first time, my mother was there to wipe away my tears. I remember when I was 18 years old and graduated high school, my mother was in the stands cheering louder then anyone. I remember when I was 20 years old and gave birth to my first born son, my mother was there to hold my hand and tell me to push. I remember when I was 21 years old and I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, my mother was there to hold my hair back and tell my to breath. I remember when I was 25 years old and left my abusive husband, my mother was there to shelter me and show nothing but love and support. I remember when I was 28 years old and wanted to marry my first love, my mother through me the most wonderful wedding any little girl could have ever imagined. I remember when I was 31years old and had to make the hardest decision of my life, my mother was there to smooth out my fears. My mother is the life that I breath. She is the reason that I'm alive. She's my Mommy and I love her!!

Counseling, Therapy and Betrayal

2008-04-15T22:40:00.000-04:00

It has been a real up and down week for our family. Chris started therapy on his back. I have to go to rehabilitation on my hips. Emma is starting therapy for her anxiety. And my best friend in the world stabbed me in the back. Let me start with Emma Jane. We had a meeting at her school last week about her attention span and anxiety at school. Emma is a bright student but has a hard time concentrating on reading and math. She is fine in both subjects, in fact she went from a C to a B in all subjects. She is trying really hard and Chris and I can see this. We just think that she needs a little help. Someone who can teach her to cope with her anxiety. She starts in about 2-3 weeks. Emma will go once a week with a counselor specializing in her needs. Does that make sense? Hope so. Anyway, Emma is looking forward to this. She doesn't like having anxiety attacks either. Chris and I have to go the physical therapy for our back and hips. Chris has had back issues for a while now and it's just getting too bad. So he had to get help. I, myself have really had issues with my hips for the last 15 years or so. It feels like my bones are paying me back for my rowdy youth. Who knows?! As for the betrayal. Let's just say I have 2 less people to buy birthday and holiday gifts for. Just keep thinking..........POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!!

My Life Around Me

2008-03-30T22:19:00.001-04:00

Somthing From The Heart

2008-03-25T18:21:00.002-04:00

Okay so not many people know that I used to be very overweight. If you are one of the few whom seen me at my biggest know it was very hard on me. I worked and worked to become healthy. Not fat, not skinny just healthy. When I was at my biggest (2000-2004) I was 250 lbs!! At my skinniest (2007) I was only 100 lbs. I was very depressed and alone at the time when I was heavy. I was going through a time that was very stressful. I had 2 children within 22 months and alone. My son was dianosied with Autism. My daughter couldn’t hear very well and needed to go to speech therapy. And to take the cake I married a man who not only hit me but called me the most hurtful things. In this time I gained so much weight that I couldn’t do anything. I was running in circles, going no where. I was in such a rut that I would eat a whole family sized cherry pie by myself, drink a 24 pack soda/day and feel sorry for myself everyday. There were times that I would try to loose the weight. I would try all sorts of different diets and fads. I found a Dietitian and she pointed me in the right direction. Teaching me how to eat correctly and not over due it with food. It worked for a while, I lost about 100 lbs or so over a year time. Then I got married and it all came back. The man I was married to was a horrible monster. He was so mean that the only thing I could do right was eat his cooking. So that’s what I did. For about a year. When I decided to leave him I lost about 20 lbs or so. I was getting thinner. When the divorce was final I lost another 50 lbs. When I got married to my TRUE LOVE Christopher in 2004 my weight was furthest from my mind. I didn’t care what I looked like. He loved me for me nothing less. Just me. I admit I had gotten comfortable in our relationship and put on a few pounds but I even didn’t care. It wasn’t until I tried to quit smoking that I put on the most recent weight. I ballooned up to about 220 lbs. I needed to do something and do it fast. I got a job that I really loved and was working during the time that I would normally eat. And when the pounds started falling off I went crazy with it. I stopped eating all together. I only ate when I was around my family. Just to prove that I was eating. I never ate a work. If I ate in public or in front of friends I would nibble and push the food around or take it home and gave it to Chris. By July 4, 2007 I was only 100lbs. I went to a family reunion and everyone was stunned. Some people said that I was fit looking, but needed some meat. Others stared and gossiped. Some members of my family thought I was on serious drugs because my weight plummeted so fast. This was my wake-up call. Now it’s almost April 2008 and I’m a healthy 135 lbs or so. I have kept myself at this weight for the last couple months and I’m finally comfortable with myself. I like me for who I am.

What a Day

2008-03-19T22:32:00.001-04:00

Today was a great day. I had a great back-line and 2 detrashers. Which meant that I was at my best. No one called my name for a fix. I either caught it myself or my back-line found it. It was great!! Tosha told me that I was going to get rewarded for my crapy numbers last week but I didn't expect all of that. I was getting nothing but large orders and pushed about 7,000 units in 9 hours. I only have one concern... I don't want anyone else to get mad at me for getting good stuff. Everyone is getting great numbers and all, but I just don't want anyone to get upset. I have told Tosha that I would do the nasty pallets (because I go trough them in half the time then the others). I just don't know what to do. I have done what I can, telling the appropriate people and whatnot. But they aren't saying anything because the numbers are high and it makes them look good. Other than all of that it was a fine day. I got Dave (Chris' step-dad) a job at McGraw. He's a temp but it's a foot in the door. It's cool working with him. We really do have so much in common. I can honestly say he's one of my best friends. We hang out on a regular and love the same things. For example Dave wanted me to listen to a song that he really liked. Well the first thing that popped in my head was some death metal video with sex and blood. But I was wrong he turned to Allison Krause. I couldn't believe my eyes. I love her music. I had no idea he did to. He them proceeded to tell me that Allison was his second favorite female singer. I looked bewildered and confused and just chuckled under my breath. I regained my composer and asked who was his favorite female singer. He looked very serious and said Stevie Nicks. I couldn't believe it. She's my favorite singer of all time too. I guess as the old saying goes "never judge a book by it's cover."

Eli's Graduation

2008-03-17T06:01:00.002-04:00

So Chris, Alexander, Emma Jane and I went to my little brothers graduation from THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY!! I am so proud of this little guy. I have watched him struggle and go through some really hard times in the 26 years he has been on this earth. Eli is a great example to my children and to me. Not only is he a strong man, but he is a rightious one to boot. I know that if I need anything ever I can call him and and he'll be there in a heartbeat. Eli is kind and sweet to everyone around him. I don't know one person who has anything negitive to say about him. Everyone loves him. And so do I!! Keep up the great work Banks.

Nothing But Snow!!

2008-03-08T15:54:00.001-05:00

Okay so I didn't take this picture (I'll leave that up to Abby) but this is the only one I could find to show what it looks like out my door. Our local news channel is comparing this blizzard to 1978 and 1987. I remember the blizzard of 1987. It was beautiful. Snow was everywhere. Ice was hanging off the trees. Well this is better. Emma Jane, Chris and I took the dogs out just to see what they would do. Stoney loved it. She's an Akita Husky and loves the snow. She waits for days like this all year long. DOG was running around pushing the snow with his nose. The other 3 Tok, Keeper and Q-Bit were basically under the snow. Tok had to jump from spot to spot. Most of the time she following Stoney or DOG, just to have a place to jump and not get covered. Emma and I went for a short walk together just to see what it was like in the neighborhood. We went around the block and decided to go home. The snow went up to Emma's knees. We were laughing so hard that we kept falling in the snow. Our fingers and piggies were frozen. Of course Emma immediately ran into a hot shower the went back over to a friends house to play. She is loving this too. When she woke up she opened the front door and the snow was about 8 inches up against the door. You know when you watch the movies and people get snowed in because the snow is against the door?? Yeah it sorta like that. Quite cool really. Well I better go. I want to make sure Emma has some Hot Chocolate when she comes home. Just like my mommy made for me.

Good And Bad Day

2008-03-05T18:00:00.001-05:00

Today was a good and bad day. I got almost 6000 units in 8 hrs (which is really good). Then we heard that a particularly tiring part of the day was going to be shortened to only about 15 minutes vs 30 to 45. Everyone who runs the end of the day papers went running to Darlene. She told us that it was a surprise and we would have to wait till the end of the day. So we waited...and waited....and waited. Finally 3 o'clock came around and we all went for Darlene. She began to tell us that we were going to a new bar code system. And that (we shall call him "reggie") Reggie came up most of it. Now another co-worker and I went to Darlene about 2 weeks ago with the same idea. My friend went nuts. He was pissed. All he kept saying was "Stephanie and I talked about going to a bar code with Darlene before he even had it in his head!" I can understand his frustrations. I'm really upset about it, however it's in place and there is nothing that either one of us can do now but kvetched about it. So I'm watching the wife of Reggie do all the paper work solely because she's his wife. Then Darlene came up to me and with a little smirk said "I have a new toy for you!!" I got so elated. She wanted to give me the new papers personally. I was touched. Later on when I was about to leave she came up to me and told me that she really appreciates all that I do for the department. She even told me I was her best CRT. That was huge! She said that I was always the best and she is glad that it's starting to really show. I of course said thank you numerous times. Then my team lead came up to me and told me that she was going on vacation and she wanted showed me where items were that we might need for the next week. Then she made a comment about her work knife. She wanted to leave it at work in her desk but she was afraid someone might use it and not return the knife. I told her that I would keep it in my desk in the back for safe keeping, chuckling not knowing that she would take me seriously. She handed me her knife and said thanks. So maybe I had more of a good day then what I initially thought. One beauty of writing everything down.

I'm An Angel

2008-02-27T17:50:00.001-05:00

What's Your Goddess Identity?

My Result: Angel

Just like the haloed and winged guardians of good, you truly have a heart of gold, sweet Angel. Whenever there's a chance to pitch in, save the day or just make life easier for the people around you, you're the one for the job.

You don't just jump in without planning — you use your angelic head to figure out how to do things right the first time, like only the most dependable goddesses can. Whether brainstorming a new solution to a problem, planning a surprise party for your parents, or lending your friends a wing to cry on, you've got the right instincts, so follow them whenever you can. As natural as it is for you to take care of the people around you, don't forget to treat yourself right, too. The best friendships, and loves, of a lifetime tend to blossom when you become your own guardian angel.

So don't listen to those who say nice girls finish last. People have always seen you as a goddess of thoughtfulness and good intentions, and it hasn't slowed you down a bit. All in all, Angel, you've got it made with your glowing attitude and ability to see from on high. So get out there and change the world!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=goddessidentityogt&c=50652

Yearly Review

2008-02-21T23:46:00.000-05:00

Today was our yearly review at work. I wasn't nervous or anything. It was a fluke that we found out. I asked Darlene (boss) if I could get a small green coffee travel mug that was going around. She told me that I would get one at the review. We all put the two and two together and BAM yearly review. So when it was my turn I walked in and she handed me my review paper. I'm in Target Achievement is all but a few areas. Those were Exceptional Achievement. I'm quite proud of myself. I have come a long way and achived a re pour with the boss' and co-workers. It felt really good to go into a meeting and have my boss tell me that they couldn't do all this without me. I know that everyone says it, but she meant it. I could see it in her eyes. We had our little conversations about raises and what not's. And I was out of her office within 20 minutes. The meeting was great and I felt like I belonged. I think I needed to hear it too. I was starting to feel blah about the work lately. Chris and I discussed the options-find new job or stay at McGraw-Hill. I'm staying at least for awhile. I will continue to look for better paying opportunities actively. But until that one pops out and gives me a shiver, I'll stay put. All in all today was a good day.

Christmas 2007

2008-02-15T17:28:00.001-05:00

Final Results

2008-02-02T15:35:00.000-05:00

Okay so I just got another letter from Dr. McKelvey (dermatologist). I opened it up and it said: Site A): Left Chest Result: Margins Clear! SO as you can see I am free and clear. Thank you for all your support and prayers. It means a lot me that ya'll care as much as you do. My love to you all!!

Me Alex and Emma Jane

2008-02-01T19:20:00.000-05:00

More Memories

2008-02-01T19:08:00.000-05:00

Johari Game

2008-01-28T16:14:00.001-05:00

Okay Mommy and Nym got me all interested in this...describe me in 5 or 6 words. Let me know what you think about me. Don't worry I won't get mad. Just a couple of words that you think best describes me. This is a lot of fun. Love you all!! http://kevan.org/johari?name=Stephanie+Jette.

Results

2008-01-25T12:52:00.000-05:00

Dr. McKelvey told me that under the microscope there was no cancer on my skin!! That's wonderful news! This was one thought that really scared me. However with all the positive thoughts and prayers I have come through this very happy and relieved. Today the wonderful doctor and dare I say, my new best friend with all the good news, took a cookiecutter-like knife and cut a little deeper to make sure that they got all the atypical cells. I have about 3 stitches and have to go back to get them removed in a couple of weeks. He did mention to me that instead of going back every 6 months I have to see him every 3 months. Which is fine with me if it's going to mean I stay healthy for a long time. No skin of my nose. At least I hope. LOL Something did happen that was rather funny in my eyes. The Phystions Assistant is somewhat of a perfectionist and had to redue my stitches twice. The nurse was looking at her, from what my very supportive husband was saying, in a very funny way. Like the PA never messed up. The PA then left to get the doc to do them. You could see that she was rather upset about the whole thing. Apparently she went to deep into the skin and it was pulling funky. I let her know that it was okay and joked that my chest had a mind of it's own and can be very tricky. She laughed and relaxed her shoulders. I was very impressed with the way she and I handled it. (I don't really like being a testing dummy for a student) All in all today was great. Like I said I go back in a couple of weeks for the results of the excertion, if I don't get another cryptic phone call or ominous letter. I also wanted to say thank you again to everyone for all your positive energy. It really helped. My love to you all.

I'm Ready

2008-01-24T21:10:00.000-05:00

Okay so I think that I'm ready for tomorrow. I have read up on what I have which is a atypical nevus. Which is pretty common in my family that I learned. They are generally benign and once you extract the rest, it's pretty much gone. Of course there is a chance that it will come back, but I'm not worried. I have done my research and I'm satisfied. I'm going into the Dermatologist office tomorrow with my head held high. Keep thinking positive and all will be positive.

Update

2008-01-23T08:15:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to give an update on my last blog. I called the doctor and they said that the mole on my back was fine, but the one on my chest was abnormal. I go in on Friday for further examination. I'll let you know as soon as I do. Thanks for all your support, prayers and love. It means a lot.

2008-01-19T02:11:00.000-05:00

I have told some of you that I was going to the doctor for a check up well heres the whole story: It all started when I went to the family doctor for a physical and he referred me to a Dermatologist. My doctor told me that he was concerned with the amount of moles and spots on my body. I made the appointment and kept it, knowing that they were most likely going to take one or two off for a check up. I was used to this. I have been going to the Dermatologist for my back for years. Well, when I went to the initial appointment everything was fine. He removed (by shaving off) two problematic spots for testing. Then he told me to come back for a full body check. I made the appointment and kept it, yet again. This time he used a black-light on me and noticed white spots. Not to big, but not small either. I had them all over my body. Legs, arms and torso. It was absolutely eye opening. All I could think of was how lucky I was not to sun bath on a regular basis. He removed two more moles. One one my shoulder, similar to the ones on my back, no big deal. Then he went to my chest. He noticed a spot that looked, lack of a better term, wonky. It wasn't that big and I didn't think anything of it. He told me that I will hear from him in a letter if everything is okay. So I check my mailbox and see nothing from the lab. Then I get home today and see that my Dermatologist call today around 11:30 am. I went to machine and pushed play. To my surprise the nurse wanted me to call back in regards to my test results. By the time I got the message it was already past office hours and couldn't call. Now I have to wait untill Monday to find out what's going on. This is why I am so nervous. I'm shaking just writing this down. I have so many thoughts going thru my head and heart. I'm trying to think positive. Remembering all the good times and trying to make myself laugh. I can put on a real good front, but inside I'm screaming.

Do You Remember the 80's?

2008-01-17T18:46:00.000-05:00

You Know You Grew Up In the 80's if: 1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE. 2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton. 3. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom. 4. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock". 5. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. 6. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head. 7. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. 8. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side. 9. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House). 10. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it. 11. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON - WAX OFF" 12. You wanted to be a Goonie. 13. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe). 14. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted. 15. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf. 16. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard. 17. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets. 18. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence. 19. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets. 21. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. 22. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?". 23. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up". 24. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates. 25. You have ever played with a Skip-It. 26. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that. 27. You remember watching both Gremlins movies. 28. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot. 29. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac. 30. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB". 31. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class. 32. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART. 33. You just sang those words to yourself. 34. You still sing "We are the World" 35. You tight rolled your jeans. 36. You owned a bannana clip. 37. You remember "Where's the Beef?". 38. You used to (and probably still do)say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?". 39. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!

Just Because

2008-01-12T13:16:00.000-05:00

Okay so I don't know what to write now, but I wanted to write something. Where to start....Work is going fine. My house is getting remodeled. My kids are crazy, as usual. Chris is sleeping and Bobby is probably on the phone with his new girlfriend. My life is full of love and hope for the new year. Good friends, great family and some dancing music and my life is great. Not much else to say.

Happy Birthday MOMMY!!

2007-12-26T12:02:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRHTDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MOMMY!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! Happy birthday mommy. I hope that your day goes as smooth as ever!!

Merry Christmas To You!!

2007-12-26T12:00:00.000-05:00

Okay so all the kids are getting to that age where they start to question Santa...well I wouldn't have it this year. Let the children go as long as they can believing. So on Christmas Eve Emma was the only one in the house. I was tring all night to get her to go to sleep. It was after midnight and I decided to go and lay down with her. All of a sudden we heard something like hooves on our tin roof. Then we heard a bell, then a HO HO HO!! Emma Jane looked at me and said "He really does exist! I am so going to tell Sherley Santa came to my house!!" I kissed her on her forehead, then tucked her in nice and tight. With tears in my eyes I walked out into the living room as Chris was walking into the house. Chris looked at Emma and told her that he was told by Santa to go to sleep so she could get her gifts. Emma passed out within 5 minutes. On Christmas morning she awoke to all the presents under the tree...Santa came, Santa came!! Knowing that she had to wait till her brother and sisters got there she got to open one present and her stocking. She was in heaven!! When Alex, Lacey and Katey got there the fun really began. I watched them tear into their presents and my eyes filled with tears. It was the most wonderful thing to watch. I got to see my 4 children go ballistic over the littlest things and it made me smile. I think this was the most wonderful Christmas I could have ever had. We didn't have a lot of money to get a lot of stuff, but they were all very happy about what they did get. I am very blessed to have such a wonderful family!! PS Pictures will be posted real soon...promise!

Happy Birthday Al!!

2007-12-21T05:54:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRHTDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRHTDAY DEAR ALEX! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!! I love you with all my heart and soul. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and get everything that your heart desires.

Bowman-Clarkson Connection

Welcome Dean!!

Happy Birthday

Lately

More Stories

My Wonderfully Crazy Katey

Mother's Day

Poppy Tattoo

One Year

GET READY FOR THIS!!!

Money and Children

Head Held High

California Part 2

Before and After

California--Part One

California Dreaming

Watch Out California...Here I Come!!

Steel Magnolias

Totally Stoked!!

Happy Birthday to EVERYONE!!

What Animal Lies in Your Spirt??

Been Awhile.....

Something I Would Love For People to Stop Talking About!!!

New Year....New Post

My Christmas...

Happy Birthday Son

Holloween 2009 (I know it's late but deal with it)

How Things Are Going.....

Short Note

This SUCKS!!

I Can't Do This Alone....

Happy Birthday Poppy!!

A Special Email

Father's Day

My Mini Vacation

Emma and Her Chin

Cookies

Wanna See Something Freaky...

My Little Champ!!

New Apartment

I didn't know that Egypt was a Planet?

New Apartment...Pic's coming soon

For my Poppy

In Loving Memory Of Donald Lee Bowman II. I love forever and always.

Tribute to Brittany and Lacey

Just Got Word...

Update about Lacey

Lacey and Robert

Long Over Due Update

I Love You

Just a few things Lacey has said.

Okay Here's Your UPDATE!! hehehehe

Okay

New Pictures

Just to Vent

Uncle Larry

New Year's Eve 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXANDER MASON!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

New Apartment

To Much To Say...

Some of Everyday Life

Emma Turns 10

Sorry it's been so long....

My Baby is Leaving For 6 Weeks!!

My Baby Brother Got Hitched!!

Clarkson Family Reunion--Michigan

This took me over 4 Hours to do. (Except Rodger...that only took 15 minutes.)

My New Camera

Grandpa Henry Hock

Alexander's Face Recongition

Emma Jane's Face Recongniton

What Was Going On When I Was Born

What My Name Means

Laid-back Doer (LD)

Can you say Mini-Debbie!!

Get Ready Southern Cailfornia Here Comes Miss Emma Jane

Happy Mother's Day Mommy!!

Counseling, Therapy and Betrayal

My Life Around Me