Jul 27, 2007

It Gets Better and Better Everyday

Today started rough and bumpy, but ended great. I ran on fumes to the gas station to put in my last 5 dollars in the tank (got a good buy for only 2.56/gal. Enough till the morning). My friend started in on her roommate yada yada and all that. Roommate/ex-boyfriends are not a good combination. I just grunted and gave her my "It's 5:45 in the morning and I haven't even taken a drink of coffee, so why oh why are you talking to me?" look. Then the words came out of Sarah's mouth...."STACKS". This is solitude. You are by yourself, alone, with no one. It can be really hard sometimes. The first time I was in the stacks it was horrible. 2 people had to help me, I had a panic attack and crushed my index finger. Not at all a good memory, but none the less, put it in memory log. When Sarah said that word I looked at her, held my head up, grabbed the morning duties (which are the worst) and walked into the sea of green and silver that were the "STACKS". I did everything up to the part where I had to get onto the FORK LIFT. Melinda brought the big, scary , yellow machine down and said plain as day "Get on". I immediately got on and she looked at me and ran down the instructions on how to drive it. I have a key, but never in a million years did I believe they would put me on one. Of course I never thought they would really put me on an OP either. Last time I tried to get on a fork lift I had a panic attack and Sarah had to do it. Sarah told me that she would do it for me only one time, then I was on my own. I couldn't let her down. My mother once told me to find someone at work to look up to and mimic. You know, be like, Sarah is my mentor if you will. Well, I got on the machine and took 4 pallets up to loose pick. Without any problems. When I was done, I was so proud of myself I was literally on cloud nine. I ran and told Phil as soon as I could. He was so proud as well. I had friends and co-workers come up to me to congratulate me. It felt so great, nothing could get me down. And the most important thing is that I didn't let Sarah down. I went on with the rest of the day and nothing could go wrong. I didn't need help. I did all the work on my own and was done a whole half hour before quitting time. Darlene, my Supervisor, looked up from separating the daily incoming orders and had to do a double take. Everything was clean and put in order. She even said she was impressed. Everyone was right on track to leave with only one hour overtime. Tomorrow we only have to work for 8 hours. I went home after a wonderful day. I looked at Chris, Alex and Emma (Lacey and Katey are at their Grandmother Sue's) and told them to get ready were going out to dinner. Everyone got dolled up and we headed for Max and Erma's at Easton Mall. When the food arrived we were ready to dig in and Alex asked about the prayer. All 4 of us bowed our heads and I said a blessing on the food. It's amazing how one child's voice can bring you to do something so profound. No one had a second thought. Everyone folded their arm and with reverence, in the middle of dinner rush at the mall, said our prayer. I was so proud of my son. He opened up and didn't care if we were out or in, when we eat as a family we say a prayer. That's my boy!! Our food was great and then we went grocery shopping and paid bills. As I walked into our house, I was full of happiness and love. Everyone had a good time and got along. The children were angels, well for the most part. This was also the first time in almost a year we could afford it. We were celebrating a great day. Nothing is going to get me down. NOTHING!!

Jul 23, 2007


I have about 4 or 5 places where I can write, chat, play and just plain have fun on the net. I love to meet new people and have interesting conversations. I have met some very interesting people in my endeavors. Some crazy whom I'd just like to forget and some who I've know since I was very little. In fact on one of my pages I met up with my cousin's mom, Angie. I haven't spoken or seen her in years. It's amazing. Sometimes you get a hunch that a person is good or bad. I didn't recognize Angie from her picture and wondered why a 44 yr old woman from Columbus wanted to be my friend? I accepted her as my friend because we have things in common and she looked cool. I later got a message from my cousin Sadie telling me that her mother was on the same site and to check her out. I couldn't believe it. I don't just let anyone be my friend. I'm very picky--go figure, me picky?! Anyway, I'm glad I did. When I took a closer look I recognized her and all the memories of her, Sadie and my uncle living in our basement on Sunnyside started to come back to me. Wow!! That was a long time ago. I love my memories!! Good or bad, they are worth remembering.
I was actually talking to Chris and Bobby about our first memories and how old we were. I started to think about it and my very first memory was when my little brother Eliot came home. I remember the smell of his head. I remember I look of pure happiness on my mothers face and the pride in my father. I believe that I have this as my first because this is when our family became a family. Maybe somewhere in my mind I just knew that he was going to be our little brother forever. I have little snippets here and there of other things. Like, I can remember every piece of furniture we have had since I was about 5 years old. I can remember every house, room or area I have been in. I think this is one thing that makes me.....well, me.