Mar 25, 2008

Somthing From The Heart

Okay so not many people know that I used to be very overweight. If you are one of the few whom seen me at my biggest know it was very hard on me. I worked and worked to become healthy. Not fat, not skinny just healthy. When I was at my biggest (2000-2004) I was 250 lbs!! At my skinniest (2007) I was only 100 lbs. I was very depressed and alone at the time when I was heavy. I was going through a time that was very stressful. I had 2 children within 22 months and alone. My son was dianosied with Autism. My daughter couldn’t hear very well and needed to go to speech therapy. And to take the cake I married a man who not only hit me but called me the most hurtful things. In this time I gained so much weight that I couldn’t do anything. I was running in circles, going no where. I was in such a rut that I would eat a whole family sized cherry pie by myself, drink a 24 pack soda/day and feel sorry for myself everyday. There were times that I would try to loose the weight. I would try all sorts of different diets and fads. I found a Dietitian and she pointed me in the right direction. Teaching me how to eat correctly and not over due it with food. It worked for a while, I lost about 100 lbs or so over a year time. Then I got married and it all came back. The man I was married to was a horrible monster. He was so mean that the only thing I could do right was eat his cooking. So that’s what I did. For about a year. When I decided to leave him I lost about 20 lbs or so. I was getting thinner. When the divorce was final I lost another 50 lbs. When I got married to my TRUE LOVE Christopher in 2004 my weight was furthest from my mind. I didn’t care what I looked like. He loved me for me nothing less. Just me. I admit I had gotten comfortable in our relationship and put on a few pounds but I even didn’t care. It wasn’t until I tried to quit smoking that I put on the most recent weight. I ballooned up to about 220 lbs. I needed to do something and do it fast. I got a job that I really loved and was working during the time that I would normally eat. And when the pounds started falling off I went crazy with it. I stopped eating all together. I only ate when I was around my family. Just to prove that I was eating. I never ate a work. If I ate in public or in front of friends I would nibble and push the food around or take it home and gave it to Chris. By July 4, 2007 I was only 100lbs. I went to a family reunion and everyone was stunned. Some people said that I was fit looking, but needed some meat. Others stared and gossiped. Some members of my family thought I was on serious drugs because my weight plummeted so fast. This was my wake-up call. Now it’s almost April 2008 and I’m a healthy 135 lbs or so. I have kept myself at this weight for the last couple months and I’m finally comfortable with myself. I like me for who I am.