At this moment in time I want to be in NYC. I don't know why, it's just something I feel. I want to watch the colors change on the trees in Central Park. I want to walk in the park and see the same trees my family played around. I want to walk down the cobblestone streets and sneak into a little diner. I want to order a cup-o-joe and Ruben on rye. I want to feel closer to my grandfather and uncle. I want to sense them and absorb their wisdom of Hells Kitchen. I want to be one with my home away from home. Eat the same foods. See the generations of family's who never left. Feel what they feel. Smell what they smell. Twenty years ago I lived in the Bronx and worked in Manhattan. 49th and Lex. Local YMHA. Don't know if it's still there, but golly I sure hope so.
Aug 23, 2016
Dec 1, 2015
I just found out that a young man I've known since he was a young teenager has passed away due to a heroin overdose. He left behind two children. This is hitting close to home. I knew this kid. He was a good kid....when I knew him. I wonder what sent him down that path? What happened after we moved that made him give up and do something that could kill you as soon as get you high. My heart breaks for his parents who only had 25 short years with their son. I feel for his children who will have to remember him through pictures and memories. For his friends who loved him so.
Heroin and other street drugs has become a epidemic of huge proportions. Parents please talk to your children about the dangers of hard core drugs. Drugs that hook you as soon as you try it. The drugs that kill you. Teach them young. Teach them early. My mother showed me a video when I was a young teenage about what happens AFTER you die from a heroin overdose. It was horrific. I looked at my mother with tears in my eyes and she said with tears in her eyes "Don't make me shop for you one last time...not for this." I took her seriously and NEVER touched the shit (that's what it is). I don't want to leave my mother, my family and friends in that situation. I love them to much.
I strongly urge each and everyone of you to spread the word about the dangers of serious street drugs. Talk to your children. Show them videos (age appropriate of course). Make them understand what happens not only to them, but to the people around them. What happens when they leave.
My friend is gone. There is nothing I can do about that. However, I will make sure my children understand how much they are loved and appreciated for who they are. Hold them tight. Teach them young and often. Make them understand!
RIP Josh. You will be missed. xoxo
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 27, 2015
Today has been one of those long long days. Thanksgiving dreams every ounce of energy that I have. There's probably a good reason we have a 4 - 5 day weekend, you need that much time to recoup after that Big beautiful bird on Thanksgiving. I got to spend the whole day with two out of four children, all in laws, and a couple good friends. I am blessed to have the family that I have. To be loved and cherished by a wonderful husband just tops the cake. My children are grateful for every moment of every day and know that in the blink of an eye it can be gone. They donate what they can, give out food to those who need it and refuse to hold too bad of a grudge. I did not get to see anyone in my family. My mother my sisters and brothers, I miss them so much. I know that they miss me and love me just as much and knowing that keeps my head straight.
Mar 19, 2015
I'm feeling tired. There I said it. I'm ridiculously tired. But I try not to show it. I try to put on a brave face. For my husband. My kids. Everyone. On the inside all I want to do is lay in bed eating jellybeans and drink wine. I want to scream at some people and find others and hug them. What's wrong with me. One day I have to much empathy now I feel like I'm loosing it. Empathy was my superpower. My go to. Where has it gone? Where can I find it again? I need a moment of reflection. I need to be one with the earth. I need to go camping with just my husband. A weekend away. Just the two of us. I need that more than anything. I'm trying so hard. To be the best mother. Wife. Sister. Daughter. Friend. I'm trying and that is all I can do.