I'm feeling tired. There I said it. I'm ridiculously tired. But I try not to show it. I try to put on a brave face. For my husband. My kids. Everyone. On the inside all I want to do is lay in bed eating jellybeans and drink wine. I want to scream at some people and find others and hug them. What's wrong with me. One day I have to much empathy now I feel like I'm loosing it. Empathy was my superpower. My go to. Where has it gone? Where can I find it again? I need a moment of reflection. I need to be one with the earth. I need to go camping with just my husband. A weekend away. Just the two of us. I need that more than anything. I'm trying so hard. To be the best mother. Wife. Sister. Daughter. Friend. I'm trying and that is all I can do.
Mar 19, 2015
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 13, 2014
Today I took the bus to my therapy session. I watched as u walked down the block the bus drive by so I had to wait. How long I did not know. I found out it's about thirty minutes or so between buses. So I waited in the wet and cold for that stupid bus. Finally the bus came. I call to let my therapist that I may be a couple minutes late...due to the missed bus (which I take full credit for). Come to find out my appointment was yesterday. So I asked if I could get another appointment that day and he had an opening at one o'clock. I said great and took it. I pulled up at noon and told them that I was there but running across the street for some lunch and will be right back. Thirty minutes later I walk into the building, say hi to the secretary and take my coat off. As I turn to sit down I see my therapist sitting across from me. We both start laughing and I grab my stuff and we head up his office. We had a nice chat (client/patient) then I left. As I walk to the bus stop I see a bus and start to run hoping that it was the number two so I didn't have to wait in the cold and now snowing weather. It was my bus and I got it in the nick if time it was ready to leave. I called my hubs when I got to my last stop and told him to pick me up because I didn't want to walk a mile home in the cold and snow. My wonderful hubs picked me up and took me home where i proceeded to wait for the call of my oldest son. As soon as he calls the hubs and I pick him up and go to the store. This is where I see my son hitting on a nice young clerk. This is the first time I ever seen my boy be a man. And he was good. He had her all a fluster and he himself was on the nutty side. We went home and unloaded the groceries. Thinking that I was done for the day my hubs then tells me that we have to go to my mother in laws. More great news. Thankfully she was in a good mood and she didn't act a fool. I then came home, made dinner, cleaned up, did a load of laundry and now going to bed. So I bid you all a good night. Goodnight.
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 6, 2014
Lets start off wih the patriarch of the family
Don: he's one of a kind fil. I love him so kuch. Like joy own dad. In fact they have been times when I've slipped up ad called him daddy haha. He has helped us out of some major jams over the years. So nothing bad to say here.
Chris: he's starting his own business and working to make his family better. He thinks only of his family. He barely thinks of himself. He's a stong human being. He's positive. He's romantic. He's sensitive. Let's talk about
Lacey: this is a girl who has been though the ringer. She has a baby and taking care of her gpa and bf. her son is thriving and is so very loved. Her bf...
Chris: is doing well for himself. He's working hard to become a kitchen manager at Chipotle. He loves his son and doesn't take his eyes off of him.
Alex: he's having a hard time with bullies. He has talked about being home schooled. Not going back. We have him in therapy and he's on the road to recovery.
Katey: is doing well in school and socially. She has a good bd who treats her good. And with respect.
Emma: is and always will be my little Chris. She's just like her father in the right. She's witty and has snappy combacks. She's our in house comidian.
And now to myself: I'm a girl who is trying to find who I am. I'm a girl who is stuck. I'm a girl who wants to be swept off her feet with romance and then come home to a loving and caring family.
This is my family. And I love them all.