Short Note

If you don't already know I spent 4 days in the hospital for mental reasons. I'm considering having another blog to explain how someone can get through depression and anxiety. Or at least my path on the subject. Maybe this is my path? Maybe this is what I'm supposed to do? Just maybe Heavenly Father has put this in front of me to help others. My Grandmother Wendy told me that I needed to be in the public...doing something with people. Maybe this can be my contribution. What do you think?

This SUCKS!!

I have no idea what to put down other than I'm having a REALLY REALLY hard time with EVERYTHING!! I tried to get into a program that just MAY help....but my insurance won't pay for ANY of it. I don't have $1000.00 a day for the program. My gas got shut off and we have no hot water. Britt and Josh have been really good sports with letting us use their stove, shower and whatever else we need. I'm right now at the library to write this. I'm mad, sad, angry, hurt...you name it and I'm feeling it. The meds seem to be working, but I don't how much they're really working. I feel like shit. I feel like my life is only for my kids and I don't even have the strength to deal. Maybe I do need to be somewhere else. Maybe I need to get away?! But where does someone go when your mind won't let you escape? I feel like I'm going CRAZY!!!!! I mean really CRAZY!

I Can't Do This Alone....

My life is rough right now. I cannot do it alone. I just wanted to thank my mother, husband, kids, brothers and sisters. I also would like to thank my Doctor, counsiler and friends. Without them I don't know if I could get through all the shit I'm going through. So thank you for all that y'all are doing. I love you all!!

Happy Birthday Poppy!!

Happy Birthday Poppy! You're the best.

A Special Email

My wonderful Aunt Linda sent me an e-mail and sadly I never really read it until tonight. I was always to busy or just didn't feel like reading at that time. If it doesn't have pictures I may just pass it by. Just kidding of course, however I was sorting through all the mail when I had a strong need to read what was sent to me weeks ago. I was blown away! It was exactly what I needed to hear and at one of my lowest moments to boot. I wanted to share it with all of you and hope it fills your hearts as it did mine. Thank you Aunt Linda for these wonderful words. I love you!! ***** Wrote By Natatlie Tucker Miller---There is no urgency, ever Great things happen when you feel safe and are in an environment rich with possibility. More than ever I understand that you can learn a lot about how someone feels about themselves by listening to what they are saying about others. If you spend too much time concerned about a back up plan, the chance is great that you will end up doing the back up plan. Life will deliver to you what you expect. Be willing to stand by your ideas while allowing others to do the same, no matter how opposing they may seem. If you want quality, abandon deadlines. Instead, target dates will keep you on track with the built in flexibility that will net more satisfying results. Everything works out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out, it’s not the end. The notion that nothing is personal has more power than anything else I’ve learned. However anyone feels about you or what you are doing is from their unique frame of reference. That’s all any of us have until we decide to remove the frame and allow an unlimited view. This is when relationships can grow and strengthen even under the most adverse of conditions. There is always a choice. Everybody is right. Replacing self-criticism with self-reflection has magic powers. Inspire others by being inspired by them.