Holloween 2009 (I know it's late but deal with it)

I had the honor or taking my children, their friends, their boyfriends and the boyfriends cousin. A total of 8 kids (not including myself...hehehe). I loved watching the kids running from house to house getting as much candy as they could. It brought wonderful memories of my childhood at Colonial Hills back to me. Best believe next year we are so going to my old hood for beggars night.

Front Row: Alex, Vadelia, Hannah, Emma Back row: Robert Lacey and Katey

Lacey's having a great time. She was supposed to be a man...but it really didn't turn out that way.

Emma of course was a Fiery Princess.

Alex in all his Glory!!!

This is Steven he came along to make fun of Robert and to help with the 'Little Ones'

This would be Robert and yes he's dress like a girl. (he was kind to give Alex his mask) So Robert went as a Girl

Katey was a of Goth Princess. I see my future and I'm VERY SCARED!!!

Of course this is Hannah Banana. She was also a Princess.

This is Vadelia (Roberts little sister). She went as princess herself.

How Things Are Going.....

I have good days and I have bad days, just like everyone else. I'm staying on top of my meds and feeling good about myself. And it's been a looooong time since that has happened. The kids are doing good. Alex is playing the Trombone and still in Boy Scouts. Katey is reading so much I practically have to rip the books away at bedtime. Emma is still Emma. Cute and wonderful. Always worried about someone or something. But in a good way. She's always been full of love and this is what amazes me about my youngest daughter. She sees the light in everything. Lacey...well lets just say that being 15 yrs old is rough. Of course! However, she is coming through with fling colors. Chris and I just celebrated out 5 year anniversary this past Friday. WOW 5 years!!! I'm shooting for about 100,000,000,000,000 years more. ;) I'm still going to counseling and seeing my doctor on a regular basis. Things seem to be lighting up for all of us. I feel I have to say this, though I believe everyone already knows, I love my family with every fiber of my being. My kids and husband have been through the ringer with me and they have stayed by my side through the whole ordeal. The last several months have been difficult I know, but they are all there to make me smile..even if I don't want to. My mother, sister and brothers (this includes husbands and wives) have supported me in whatever I do. They have been there to listen to me cry or scream or yell or really anything. I love you all very much. Thank you for being in my life. And I also know that my wonderful Poppy is always with me. Right next to me when I need him the most. I can feel him!! Anyway I just wanted to give an update and whatnot's. I love you all and will talk to everyone real soon!!

Short Note

If you don't already know I spent 4 days in the hospital for mental reasons. I'm considering having another blog to explain how someone can get through depression and anxiety. Or at least my path on the subject. Maybe this is my path? Maybe this is what I'm supposed to do? Just maybe Heavenly Father has put this in front of me to help others. My Grandmother Wendy told me that I needed to be in the public...doing something with people. Maybe this can be my contribution. What do you think?

This SUCKS!!

I have no idea what to put down other than I'm having a REALLY REALLY hard time with EVERYTHING!! I tried to get into a program that just MAY help....but my insurance won't pay for ANY of it. I don't have $1000.00 a day for the program. My gas got shut off and we have no hot water. Britt and Josh have been really good sports with letting us use their stove, shower and whatever else we need. I'm right now at the library to write this. I'm mad, sad, angry, hurt...you name it and I'm feeling it. The meds seem to be working, but I don't how much they're really working. I feel like shit. I feel like my life is only for my kids and I don't even have the strength to deal. Maybe I do need to be somewhere else. Maybe I need to get away?! But where does someone go when your mind won't let you escape? I feel like I'm going CRAZY!!!!! I mean really CRAZY!

I Can't Do This Alone....

My life is rough right now. I cannot do it alone. I just wanted to thank my mother, husband, kids, brothers and sisters. I also would like to thank my Doctor, counsiler and friends. Without them I don't know if I could get through all the shit I'm going through. So thank you for all that y'all are doing. I love you all!!