Oct 28, 2012

I Saw My Dad!!

My husband and I were on the way to his mothers when we decided to turn around and just go home due to the weather. I forgot to buy some milk on Saturday so we went to the Speedway down the street on the way home. I looked up and saw a man with Utah in big letters on a hoodie. And the man who was wearing it was my father. I couldn't get out of the car fast enough. First forgot to grab the keys. Then forgot the phone on the dash. Then a man was taking forever to get into his car and I couldn't open my door. Then my husband was walking out and all I could say was "I just saw my Dad!!". All I heard was Honey? No you didn't. Trust me I said. I walked with the speed that felt like a snail. My legs felt like they were in tar. I slowly walked up to this man and said "Uncle Jeff?". My uncle who by the way is almost identical to my father, was standing in front of me. All I could do was hug him. When he put his arms around me it was like my father was hugging me. I felt his arms holding me. I still feel them. I didn't want to let go. We said some pleasantries and went our separate ways, but hell I almost lost it right there in the store. As soon as I stepped into the car. however is a different story. My amazing husband drove home with me sobbing in the passenger seat. It was strange. To see someone look so much like my father. It brought up so many feelings. I just couldn't hold it in. I miss my father dearly. But I'm happy I got to see him...sort of. It couldn't have come at a better time too. I needed my father. I need him now. There is so much I want to tell him. So many things.

2 comments:

desertdeb said...

Well...this was very poignant. I can't imagine running into Jeff. I'm glad you got to do that. It would spin my mind around quite a bit if that happened to me. I love you. Your dad loves you. You know, to this day, when I take that silly ambien, before I go to sleep, or after I go to the restroom, or get a drink of water, Peter will ask if I'm okay and EVER. SINGLE. TIME. I tell him that "we're fine" and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. he asks who I'm with and it's always "him" and I know exactly who it is. He'll ask, "Where is he?" and I just point next to me and say, "right here". I have no memory of these conversations, but Peter tells me. And often, before I get out of bed, in those dreamy states, that's when I feel the closest to him. I'll hear my name, or something. Something. Every. single. time. Three years plus. With me constantly.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I know he's nearby and loving his family. I have had many loved ones pass away, but never have I felt that they were so present as I have with him. So glad you got to "visit" with him, if just through a chance encounter with Jeff. He must have known you needed a hug, and that was the person he accessed to deliver it for him. He could have arranged someone else to hug you, but he knew you would recognize 'him' and know it was a true loving visit from him! He loved you so much and wanted you to be happy and secure. xoxo