My Wonderfully Crazy Katey

This beautiful young lady is my step-daughter Katelynn (Katey for short). Let me tell you a little about my sweet Katey-Bear. Katey was diagnosed with ADD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) when she was very young. This means that when you tell her to jump she will sit If you tell her to go take a shower, she'd rather stink. And add the ADD on top of that, good luck teachers. I believe that she doesn't know what she's really doing, nor does she want to do them. Katey has had it rough. When she came to live with us a little over a year ago, Chris and I thought that it would help her and her relationship with her mother. However, it's gotten worse. So when the last nerve was gone (about a month ago) I decided to change some things around. Before I would scream and shout to get Katey to do anything. Now I talk to her like she doesn't know better. And in all reality she doesn't. She was never taught to talk out her problems. She bottles them up and then when she releases her "mood" watch out. She never really had to do chores. She never had nor was taught how to clean her room, I mean really clean it. Her mother did everything for her. Now I understand not handing out chores at a young age, but damn. Katey was 12 when she moved in. So, now it's up to me and Chris to step in. I've stop yelling and starting talking. You know when you have a toddler and they did something that was wrong?! What do you do? I don't ever recall yelling at my children. I talked to them. Told them to use there words or sign what's wrong. I'm taking this technique and applying it to a 13 year old. And it seems to be working. Tonight Katey kept getting out of bed after I already tucked her in for the night. I at first, got really pissed off. This would be the 10th time I put her to bed. In the mist of the arguing I stopped and asked Katey what happened today that would make her so mad and upset. She proceeded to tell me about her day. Come to find out some of her friends were being cruel to her. We talked it out. You could see on her face how much she loved that. How much she needed it. I made jokes and made her laugh. Which we all know, cures all. When we were about done with the conversation I asked her what her dad told to to say (in her head) before she does something stupid. Her response was, "What would my Dad say or do to me if I do....." I then told her I didn't want her to think that anymore. She gave me the most quizzeled look. I told her that I wanted her to think..."Is Jette going to kick my ass if I do...." Katey's father works A LOT and her mother isn't around as much as she should be. So all that's left is me. :) And now she knows it. I love my husband, but he just doesn't have it in him to discipline. It's now up to me. Lacey's good. Emma knows better. Alex has is moments. And now Katelynn knows. I also found out that she was bragging to her friends that her and I were getting along. Her friends (whom know me very well) fell over with amazement. This tells me that I'm doing something good here. Don't get me wrong, Chris has tried very hard to get to Katey. I just think she needed a mother. And a mother I am. And I'm good at it. I know that when Katelynn is grown and on her own, she'll know what I did for her and how much I love her. She's my daughter and that will never change.